I have been a zone recently… not sure where I am… what I am doing… why I am doing it. I look normal on the surface but underneath … deep down… nothing feels right.
I have not gone to the gym for 3 weeks now… I have deliberately eaten all kinds of crap in the last 1 week… I have had dessert every night. Not kidding. I don’t know what I feel… why am I here… whats the whole point… whats the goal…
The last time I was like this… I was in Gurgaon in 2008… I used to cry myself to sleep every night. I am disinterested… demotivated… down in the dumps.
Day before yesterday, a very senior colleague remarked- “You have gained weight. This is not done. I was so impressed to see you when you had just come… I didn’t think it was possible for anyone to lose so much weight”.
I replied’ “I know… I have not been working out… just waiting for something to inspire me again”
Him “Inspiration has to come from within”.
Today I decided to get back on the regime…. went for a brisk walk… have eaten right all day (mostly) and am updating all my blogs.
Will definitely post in detail tomorrow about my Goa Trip.