You are a kid of the 90s when….

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I have spent all day (the only break was when I went for a 7.5 km run) listening to Hindi pop songs of the 90s. I think it was because I was really, really bored and nothing perks me up like the 90s except maybe porn and masturbation. (now that I have grabbed your attention, let’s begin… shall we?)

  • You know what I mean by Hindi pop songs of the 90s. No, they are NOTHING like Yo Yo Honey Singh.
  • You had best friends. I am not sure if this concept is still around. My closest friends are those who I speak to on the phone, look forward to meeting in person and am comfortable enough to invite them home. Everyone else is just a filler.
  • You had a slam book and you were rich if you could get a new one every year.
  • Your parents buying you an Archies comic or English music cassette or a poster of your favourite actor was a real treat.
  • You had a drawer full of cassettes of Hindi movie releases and listened to them over and over. I wonder at what point did people of the 90s throw them out. Did the raddi wala guy pay for them or did he also look down on people for expecting money for them?
  • Your first VCR cassette was Maine Pyaar Kiya. I watched it a million times.
  • You grew up in a time when TV serials had one break only and you had to pee, drink water, get everything done in that one tiny break. That decade was quite a struggle.
  • You know what BASIC (Beginner’s All Purpose Symbolic Instruction Code) is.
  • Your source of sex education were Mills and Boon and Sidney Sheldon.
  • Your crushes are still hot. I am looking at you – Marc Robinson, Milind Soman, Jas Arora, Malaika Arora, Nazia Hassan, John Abraham, Shenaz Treasurywala.
  • Your parents have NO idea about your life as a teenager. Zilch. No idea. They still think you were a virgin when you got married. Hilarious.
  • You had letter writing as part of your school curriculum
  • You still have birthday cards sent by your friends in school. Not kidding. I still do.
  • You remember the first time you entered a Pizza Hut. I was in 12th std when they opened their first outlet in Ahmedabad. I met my best friend there for lunch wearing my new and prized salwar kameez (black and white). Their USP were the hot and English speaking waiters. They had hired college kids as servers and that is why everyone flocked to the outlets.
  • Your weekends revolved around barah se teen (12 to 3), teen se che (3 to 6), che se nau (6 to 9) and nau se barah (9 to 12).
  • You remember your first ever movie in a multiplex. Mine was ‘The Runaway Bride’.
  • You see no logic in movies of the 90s and yet love them to death. Hum and Vishwatma are a must watch everytime they are on TV.
  • Sidney Sheldon taught you the first angrezi abuses ever
  • Concepts of “blank calls” existed. Sharing a phone with the whole house was your biggest barrier to finding your true love.
  • You remember the first time you flew on an airplane. I was in college.
  • Your parents/grandparents/relatives packed a tiffin for you when you travelled on trains. Because why eat outside food when you can eat ghar ka khana?
  • You went to naani or daadi’s house for summer (in my case, winter) vacations where you spent all day playing with your cousins and fighting with them. You can narrate tales of hair pulling, putting chewing gum in cousin’s curly hair (I didn’t do it. My awesome cousins did it) etc etc.
  • You grew up in times when people genuinely believed they would marry the first person they dated.
  • You had to figure out menstruation, padded bras, boyfriends, sex, virginity, orgasms on your own because 90s parents were/are useless at this stuff.
  • There was a time when brown lipstick was in- the darker the better. *hangs head in shame for wearing it*
  • People started smoking to look cool and are now spending their 30s trying to quit because death is around the corner for them.
  • Urmila was the first woman to enter your living room half naked and nobody seemed to mind. *Refers to Rangeela and her song Tanha Tanha which was No 1 on Philips Top 10 for months*
  • You giggled when you came across condoms in your father’s drawer. The idea of your parents getting intimate was yucky.
  • MTV and Channel V were your inspiration for “cool”.
  • You changed channels everytime a kissing or sex scene came on. Remember? Remember? Remember?
  • The Oxford dictionary was your prized possession

 

 


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