Where I rant about the smartphone companies which make my phone dumber and dumber with each passing year

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I just gave my phone for repairs for the 3rd time and it hasn’t even been a year. The last 2 times it was a software issue which was resolved in a hour though I had to spend hours re-installing everything and bringing it up-to-date. This time it is a hardware issue- specifically of the camera. Now, a great camera is a big reason why am still with Nokia, now Microsoft, Lumia. That and I don’t see a better alternative. My official phone was a Samsugn duos and currently am using the Apple Iphone 4. Having experienced the major operating systems (Blackberry doesn’t count anymore), here is my scathing review of each.

Nokia/Microsoft Lumia – Windows Phone

  • Does not have any official apps making it very cumbersome to use. It is like learning a whole new language and constantly makes me feel like I have to use my left hand to use my right ear instead of just using the right hand.
  • The good part is the camera which is fabulous and the apps for twitter and instagram are much better than the official ones
  • I am still searching for a decent gmail app
  • The battery is better than most phones
  • I can drop it every single day and not worry about the screen cracking. In fact, one major reason why I stick to erstwhile Nokia is the sturdiness. And yes, I drop the phone everyday
  • All in all, am strictly satisfied with the Lumia though am wondering if buying 830 was a mistake. I miss my 820.
  • If only Microsoft has a tie up with google for the apps and we can get some good apps
  • By the way, why should it take 10-15 days for a phone to be sent to Noida factory and get the camera replaced? It sounds like 1 day’s job plus 2 days of transportation to me.

Samsung Duos – Android

  • Android is the worst operating system of all three. I don’t know why so many people use it. I hate being forced to sign into hangouts and use my google login constantly. You cannot sign out… ever. And apps like hangouts cannot be deleted. In fact, they are back again with every update and I have to make the effort every single time to cancel the login. I hate being forced to use an app. Give it a rest, google- nobody uses hangouts. Take a hint. Leave me alone.
  • Samsung has the cheapest make- the plastic body makes me want to throw up. How do people spend 40-50k over such a poorly made phone?
  • All android phones become slow and dumb as they grow older. And in the smartphone world, a 2 year old phone = 100 years of  a human. This is the slowest phone I have used despite only using it for email, phone calls and WhatsApp.
  • The battery is poor. By 6 pm, the phone would be dead. Now, this is a good thing since that is my official phone but I have given the impression that I don’t answer calls beyond 6 pm. How do I tell colleagues- it is not me, it is my phone which refuses to last beyond office hours.
  • I had to download every attachment from email and could not just forward it directly. How moronic is that?
  • I am never, ever, ever touching a Samsung phone in my life again. And android is out too. No way.

Apple Iphone

  • After some trepidation I bought an Iphone. I was scared of 2 things- it would meet my low expectations or it would surpass them. In the latter case, I didn’t want to be tempted to splurge 60-70k on a phone.

*How do people spend so much money on a phone? It is just a phone. I mean, I can think of so many things to do with 60k. How sad is someone’s life that the only thing they can spend so much money on is a phone*

  • The battery is not as great as Lumia and I have only used it for calling/email/WhatsApp till now. I installed the social media apps today since I will be using this as my replacement phone for the next 10 days till Lumia is under repair.
  • You need Itunes for every damn thing… and for Itunes, you need a laptop. The Iphone cannot be used if you don’t have a laptop. Even for something as simple as creating a ringtone, I had to buy the ringtone from the store, install the app to cut it, then connect the phone to itunes on the laptop, save the edited ringtone on it and then I could use it. Isn’t technology supposed to make life simpler?
  • I cannot upload the photos directly from icloud on my laptop to wordpress. I need to save each photo on the laptop and then upload. WTF, much?
  • I need to download excel and powerpoint apps to edit files.
  • Using Iphone is like learning a whole new language and most of the times, there is no logic to the way things are done. Like, I have configured my official and personal email on the phone and both of them are stored in the same inbox. Umm, seriously? Can I not get 2 inboxes?

*I am still trying to figure out my way around the phone so if this feature is already there, am still trying to find it*

  • All my contacts are saved on microsoft or google and I can’t get them all synced to Apple. Which means, some people are missing from my phone book.
  • In windows (and maybe even android), all facebook/twitter/linkedin contacts get synced making it easy to follow updates and search for contact numbers. This feature is missing in Apple
  • All in all, Iphone is a decent phone but definitely not worth the hype or the money. The simplest tasks are much more complicated here

Which one is the winner? None. And that is the point. Do the smartphone makers even care what we want? Here is what I want in a phone:

  • 48 hours battery life with internet/video/phone usage
  • Sturdy enough to survive atleast one fall each day
  • Sturdy exteriors. Why do phone start looking shabby so soon? Why do I need screen guard and phone cover? WTF am I paying so much money for? It is like buying a car without the safety features
  • Official apps for gmail, instagram, twitter, facebook, linkedin etc etc. Stop fighting among yourselves and ensure all your consumers, no matter which OS they use, get access to all their accounts
  • HD/digital camera quality camera. Stop selling rubbish and making us use filters
  • HD front camera. How can you not  jump onto the selfie craze and upgrade the front camera?
  • Different colours. What is wrong with you guys? I will prefer a decent red phone over a better black phone. Anyday. Please give me colour and design options.
  • The phone should last atleast 5 years. Yes… 5 years. That should be the norm and not the exception
  • Easy to navigate OS… stop making me use shit like Itunes. Just stop.

Go on… get to work… give me what am looking for.

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