WhatsApp groups and their fuck-allness

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WhatsApp groups are like being at a party where everyone is talking at the same time and it needs a topic that interests every single person to keep the group going. Since I hate parties and have stopped attending them, this is like a whole group of people barging into my house and trying to party. VERY annoying.

(Have to mention a a conversation here:

Friend : I want to throw a farewell party before you move to Mumbai. Will invite all your friends in Delhi NCR

Me : Please spare me the torture. You will invite A, B, C, X, Y, Z- none of them know each other or have much in common. I will have think of ways to keep everyone engaged and there will not be any REAL conversation. I’d rather meet each person one on one.)

Having been part of many groups on WhatsApp and having exited all of them, I dread the moment am added to a new one. Why doesn’t WhatsApp understand consent? Shouldn’t I get an invite first, which I can choose to accept or reject and giving the explanation to one person instead of exiting the group in front of 50 people?

This is how every WhatsApp group starts and ends:

  • I got very excited when I was added to a group last night. The group was started by an ex colleague and am fond of most of them but not in touch. Every group starts with excitement. The anticipation that you are back in touch with people who were a part of your previous life.
  • Everyone says their Hi Hellos. There is jubilation around. Old photos are shared.
  • People make plans of meeting and catching up. A reunion of sorts. I haven’t seen any of these reunions happen. Not in one single group.
  • After a few minutes, conversation starts dying out. Unlike real life, where you end up in smaller groups of like minded individuals, what are 10/20/30/40 people going to talk that will interest everyone? That’s when torture starts.
  • Forwards. It is like dumb people have sworn to spread their dumbness around. Atleast on email, you can send it to spam. What do you do on WA? And I have OCD. Unread notifications make me uneasy. Every unnecessary email in my inbox (even the one I rarely use) is sent to spam, mailing lists are unsubscribed from and there is no junk in the primary inbox. So, I hate unread notifications even on a muted group when I open WA.
  • Birthday wishes. How rude are you if you don’t wish someone on their birthday WHEN you know it’s their birthday and everyone else is wishing him/her. On facebook, I wish people I like or those who I would wish if they were around me. On WA, it is people I don’t usually call but am in touch with. I call the people I speak to over the phone. For everyone else, I don’t care and am sure they don’t care if I wish them or not. I have removed the birthdays notification from facebook app as well and it is one less notification in a day.
  • Festival wishes. Someone I know sends wishes on WA through an image (I never open it) for every damn festival. I NEVER reply. But the wishes do not stop.

The best solution I discovered few months back was to delete WA for a few days and then come back. Nobody is going to bother adding you back specially since you won’t announce your arrival.



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