What's happening on twitter?

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Bhayanak Puppy @BhayanakPuppy

Suicide is our way of telling God, “Arey tu kya mujhe Naukri sey nikalega. Laat maarta hoon aisi naukri pe main!”

 This guy cracks me up

Benny Dayal @Benny_Dayal ·

Never seen this much rain in delhi ever. It’s raining as if the sky woke up after sleeping off for months n it says, Sorry I forgot to rain

 WTF NCR. Ruined my Sunday by raining

Bhayanak Puppy @BhayanakPuppy ·

Pakistan wins and Rega Jha orgasms!

 (Rega Jha is a 23 yr old editor for buzzfeed or something like that. She had posted on how good looking Pakistanis are and even though India won the cricket match, they are still ugly. 

It was a funny tweet but Indians got ‘offended’ and threatened to rape her and shit.)

Yeah, twitter is a crazy place. 

$ir $ri $ri Magal @jhunjhunwala ·

Pretty sure Jaitley can wipe out the Fiscal Deficit if he introduces a tax on selfies.

He better not else there will be a revolution

The शुभेंदू झा ! @BadkaBhaiya ·

Innovative Idea: Notifications on your phone from your fridge saying “bhai doodh phat gaya hai”

These days I don’t care if doodh phat gaya hai. I am going to drink anyways because it’s expensive and am a Sindhi. And I also need the Vitamin D and Calcium. Supplements mehengi hai na. 

Teri Maa Ki @AmuseMeNo

I know I’m just some bitch on twitter, but I’m also a bitch in real life.

This lady is hilarious and I keep teasing Bhayanak Puppy and her because they would be so perfect together. 

Yes, am match making on twitter. I need to stop. 

600 crore bunglow @Vip600CrAAP ·

Girl having sizzling brownie with hot chocolate saucee: Bhaiyaa yeh chocolate ka rassa extra milega?

Keh Ke Peheno @coolfunnytshirt ·

Would like to see Dia Mirza, Twinkle Khanna & likes talking more about disparity in fees of male & female stars..wait..that wud upset people

 Still cannot believe male and female actors are not paid the same. That’s so much crap. 

Keh Ke Peheno @coolfunnytshirt

Each time Pakistan plays, Shoaib Akhtar’s whatsapp status shows “Chhalni kar de seena mera!”.

I know this because KC was watching Shoaib’s video and I found it hilarious. 

rob whisman @robwhisman ·

facebook is bad because its just pregnant people from high school. i much prefer this site where everyones upset at literally everything

Which is twitter, of course. 

BleedBlue @shan_daar ·

Obsessing over a dress is stupid. I miss the time when we were a thinking species and did things like dumping ice buckets on ourselves.

That ice bucket challenge is the stupidest thing I have seen in my life. Stupider than the ugly dress too. 

Roflindian 2.0 @Roflindian ·

Porn videos never tell you the whole story. They never show if the plumber finally fixed the kitchen tap or not.

I do not like porn videos where the background has water leaking in the kitchen. There isn’t a woman on this planet who won’t get the kitchen fixed first and then have sex with the plumber.

So, yeah… if women are your TG, please let the plumber do his thing first before he does the other thing. Ok?

Frankie Boyle @frankieboyle

Anyone can troll on Twitter, but hats off to people who do it on Facebook where everyone can see they’ve got ugly kids and a shit kitchen.

 I agree. Posting pics of ugly kids is just a form of trolling

The शुभेंदू झा ! @BadkaBhaiya

A man went to the moon and only took five pictures, while a woman infront of the bathroom mirror took 47 slefies. #OhNoIDint

Perspective!!!

CRIME MASTER GOGO @saapassociation ·

WE DON’T CARE ABOUT THE COLOUR OF THE DRESS BECAUSE SNAKES AREN’T RACIST. :’)

Aren’t these guys cool? Nice to know they are the next generation

IIMA Elevator Gossip @IIMAElevator

Charity is flirting with a fatty.

See, funny is funny even if it’s a sexist/fat joke. Like this guy who is an actual IIMA passout said – He cracks jokes on everything and everyone with equal bias.  

Cricket Expert AG @justicearnab ·

Once Travel ticket checker penalized Sant Ram Rahim Singh Insaan thinking that 5 guys were travelling on one single ticket.

 I cannot stop laughing at all the Sant Ram Rahim Singh Insaan jokes. 

I can already hear KC complaining – ‘If I share the same joke on Whatsapp it’s silly but when you read it on twitter, it’s funny?’ 

 


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