Hey guys. The twitter stuff has just been a filler on the blog since nothing much is happening in life. And stuff that goes on in my head is too scandalous for even this blog. Yep, that’s possible.
Does anyone feel like they are a different person with different people and in different mediums? Like… say online vs offline vs at work vs at home vs with friends vs with acquaintances vs colleagues vs… I am sure everyone is a little different but what if you are more than 50% different? I know am a gemini so the tendency to whitewash/lie/pretend/fake is enormous. Fake it does not mean act fake. At that moment am absolutely convinced about what am saying. It’s only later I may change my mind and be convinced about the new stand. In my case, this aspect is not a big deal because of 2 reasons:
– I have a Taurus ascendant. Which is basically my secondary sign. That’s where I get my stability from. I tend to be honest more often than actually lie because it’s convenient. Of course, telling the truth is hardly the best policy.
– I know I have a really dark side and if I ever indulge it, it could get me into serious shit. That’s why I border on the extra safe rather than taking risks. I can easily screw my life but I don’t want to. Self destructive urges were difficult to control as a teenager but as I grow older the realization, that everything in life is a decision, grows stronger.
I realized how shitty I am at conversations with strangers. I should not be allowed to talk to anyone I don’t know. Never. Ever.
The conversations sound so much better in my head. I was always cooler online than in person. Or even in my head.
This whole post may seem disjointed but am trying to just type the thoughts as they come… along with fighting with a stranger on twitter.
The weather is so weird these days. It’s chilly in the morning and I wear stockings and warm wear to work but then it gets very hot. And I have to roast in all the layers. THIS is the time for pants.
That reminds me. Has anyone seen women try to fit into smaller clothes? Why do they do that? Nobody can see the size you are wearing. What matters is how you look in them. Wear your size. Don’t let the size wear you. That’s not the point of clothes.
I was telling KC something yesterday (which am sorry I cannot write here) and he said; “It was your choice not to go for an arranged marriage and a more comfortable and easier lifestyle. Nobody forced you to get married to the person you want to”.
And I realized something, I would never pick a comfortable life over my freedom. Ever. If I do, I will probably murder/torture the person and escape. It’s such a relief not to pretend to agree with my parents views on religion/life/marriage/relatives etc. Not being in touch with them means I can be who I am every second of the day. I pick me over them. It was a hard choice because of how we are conditioned to think as kids. Remove that conditioning and a lot of things become clear and logical in life. Remove emotions and making decisions is not that difficult. I am not saying don’t be emotional at all. All I am saying is don’t get manipulated in the guise of emotions. By anyone. ANYONE.
Ok. Got to go now. Have to attend super funny Chandan’s core class tonight. And my fingers are tired from all the typing. I worked non stop on excel till 2.45 pm today and my fingers are now screaming in pain.
Non stop = few updates on fb and twitter only