To dos when planning a pregnancy from someone who is nowhere close to getting pregnant

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This post was supposed to be about how I hate entertaining and guests at home. But I have something more important to write about. I promise to write that post tomorrow for sure.

We have been trying to get pregnant… half heartedly. I mean, who knew it was so much trouble. Why have I been using protection all these years if pregnancy is possible only when you have intercourse on specific days of the month?

Finally, I visited a gynaecologist today. And she made many things clear. It felt like talking to a mother because she kept calling me ‘beta’. It’s strange how our parents don’t teach us the important things of life. Like, I wish my dad would have explained investments to me instead of asking about studies. Or my mother had explained protection and pregnancy instead of warning me not to have a boyfriend or teaching me to cook. I’ve had to figure all of this out by myself.

It’s amazing how little information there is about pregnancy around me. I have spoken to women who have been trying to conceive and they are none the wiser. And let’s not even mention women who are mothers. They seem to know lesser. And the men? Ask any father about ovulation and see what happens.

Don’t get me wrong. My views about kids still remain the same. I am hoping the magic happens when I pick my baby in my arms. And if doesn’t? There is a 50% chance that that will be the case. Then well, the kid will be KC’s responsibility completely. Why am I still trying to conceive? 2 reasons

– KC wants a kid. And since we are partners, I don’t mind trying it out

– I don’t want to regret it 10 years down the line when I won’t be able to or inclined to do anything about it

Anyway, I went to the gynaecologist and there are certain things that every woman should know

– When you start planning a baby, the first thing you should do is visit a good gynaecologist. Pregnancy does not just happen. It’s a scientific process which is planned. And no, kids are not ‘bhagwan ki den’. They are either a ‘mistake’ or ‘planned’.

– The gynaecologist will prescribe tests. I have to get 10 tests done tomorrow (at 7 am), an ultrasound and a PAP smear.

– Since I have a history of PCOS the tests are extensive for me. For someone else, it maybe only 5 tests

– A PAP smear should ideally be done every year starting from the time a woman becomes sexually active. It tests for cervical cancer. I knew that but never got it done. If our parents don’t know we’ve become sexually active at 18 yrs, it’s a little difficult to get these tests done. But yes, no excuses for not testing since I started earning

– You should start taking folic acid pills 3 months before you start trying to get pregnant. Again, something I did not know

– Ovulation is when the ovaries release the egg and it’s the perfect time for a sperm to fertilize the egg. The chances of a pregnancy are highest during this period. Ovulation happens at the middle of the woman’s cycle. So, if your cycle is 28 days you will ovulate on the 14th of the month. This cycle starts from the 1st day of periods. How to calculate the cycle and ovulation period? Maintain a diary tracking the menstrual cycle. Basis that you can estimate the ovulation dates and validate it with Isure.

– The gynaecologist asked me not to have sex only on the ovulation days but to relax, enjoy sex and spread it out throughout the month. I really like this idea. Now, we can have sex all month with a purpose. I like that. I like it when there are goals, plans, a purpose and results to be achieved. It’s quite orgasmic.

– And of course, the usual. Lose weight. The fitter you are- which means BMI should be between 19-23, the easier it is to conceive. Nope, not explaining BMI. Please read up on it. It’s a very common term and am not wasting my time explaining it.

– Women ovulate once a month. So, there should be 12 chances to get pregnant in a year. But there are only 10. Two months in a year, women do not ovulate

– 70% of women get pregnant after trying for 1 year and 90% within 2 years. It’s only the balance 10% where there is a problem. So, please plan accordingly. If I’d known this statistic we would have started trying earlier. Oh, well!!!

– And yes, the most important thing. A man has no role to play at this stage except to donate his sperms to you. So make sure you torture him enough by making him drive you for the tests and gynaecologist appointments.

Ciao. I have to get dressed by 7 am, rush for the tests, be back for b’fast, get another test done, get an ultrasound and PAP smear done during the lunch break, and then there is another doctor’s appointment too.

If I ever have a kid I will make sure he/she reads this post when he/she pisses me off. If am spending so much time/money on him/her, he/she better know it.

Also, I’ve changed my mind about adoption. I don’t like kids… hell, I can barely tolerate them. Ok, fine. I did fawn over my nephews. But they are so cute AND they are twins. Though I NEVER want to have twins. It’ll be like double torture. My only hope is that there is something called a mother’s love (though I think it’s an old wives tale) and so I will automatically love kids spewed from my own vagina. So, yeah, I shouldn’t even think ‘adoption’ because I hate kids. So much.


4 thoughts on “To dos when planning a pregnancy from someone who is nowhere close to getting pregnant

  1. Loved your post. But I am still laughing , don’t know what is funny…
    seriously, only 10 chances per year??? lot of calculations man !!!

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