The MOST annoying things about me

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If you have the misfortune of spending long hours with me or worse, actually living with me, these are the most annoying things that could (and probably) drive you mad:

  • I am sensitive to the AC. To put it bluntly, I HATE the AC and am never comfortable with the vent overhead or pointing towards me. When I would travel to Mumbai from Gurgaon for work, I would book a hotel instead of staying over at a friend’s place after hanging out with her at her home because her AC was always on high and I couldn’t sleep. Every morning and evening when I step into the Uber, my first sentence is “Please reduce the AC”, and the cab driver’s answer is “Madam, AC is at the lowest temperature”. KC wonders why I take an Uber instead of the regular cab. In a restaurant, I always, always check where the AC is and pick a seat accordingly.
  • Hanger is a real emotion. Hanger = hunger+anger. When am hungry, I get angry. Eating meals on time is my basic, human, uncompromising requirement. Lunch at 1 pm. Dinner by 9 pm.
  • I’d rather wear shorts and stay warm in a blanket rather than cover up my legs. Except in the extreme Delhi winters. Milder winter days/nights call for shorts next to a heater.
  • Being in bed by 10 pm is a biological need beyond my control. I have to be the most boring person on weekend nights but well, it is what it is.
  • I will never be up for drinking, pub hopping, partying my life away. EVER. For anyone. It is akin to a dementor’s kiss for my soul.
  • I need alone time everyday. It could be reading or writing or just lazing around in bed. Nobody talk to me for 30-60 mins and we can stay friends.
  • Bath times are meditation time. Don’t nag me for being in the shower for 20 mins+.
  • I will always have an extra toothbrush, enough shower gel to last 10 humans for a whole year and a lip balm in every room. Don’t question my feminine aura.
  • 6/7 am is too early for a conversation. Let’s not talk till I have returned from my morning run.
  • My wardrobe, side of the bed and my stuff have a Lakshman rekha around it. Nobody gets to cross it. I don’t like sharing my space.
  • My phone is off limits and I respect another person’s privacy. Have never snooped into anyone’s phone and never will. Basic human right.
  • Morning run >>>> morning sex
  • I can eat the same meal every day for a whole month. Feed me dalia khichdi for lunch everyday and I won’t get bored.
  • I can’t stand loud music in the house. Splurge on the expensive headphones and use them. Bad music is irritating.
  • I hate entertaining people at home. A home is where I chill and not a place where am worried about other people’s comfort. Inviting people over is a cause for stress.

Is that enough stuff to sympathise with the person stuck with me in a house?

 


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