That’s my spot

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Circa 2008

I was handling the rural territory of Gujarat and my base was Mumbai. I spent 2 weekends in Mumbai and 1 month involved 4 train journeys between Rajkot and Mumbai. I would catch the train from Rajkot in the evening, reach Mumbai early morning, rush to the guesthouse at Goregaon, get dressed, have b’fast and rush to reach office by 9 am at Santa Cruz. The next day I would stay in office till late, hail an auto/cab to Borivali from Santa Cruz (you know what a pain getting an auto/cab to Borivali can be), rush to catch the train, reach Rajkot in the morning, rush to the hotel, get dressed and leave for the market. It was very, very hectic and sleep was a premium.

To make matters worse, there would always be someone on the train who would want to exchange my lower/middle berth for the top berth. If you are younger and fitter than the people around you in the berth, this is going to happen. Either that or some family with tickets in 10 different places, wants to shift everyone in the compartment so they can get seats together. Initially, I would oblige and sleep on the top berth. But the AC was always on full blast and I would reach office groggy and irritated. I realised that while I was travelling for work, everyone else was travelling for vacations or were housewives and could catch up on sleep once they reached their destination.

I refused to exchange my seat once and it changed my life. Since then, I have a simple rule- Buls does not shift seats. Not unless it is a life or death situation.

  • Plays

I went to Epicenter to watch August Osage County. The tickets were priced at 1500 bucks and KC did not want to spend that kind of money. So I went alone and booked my tickets very much in advance. I picked the best seats- 2nd or 3rd show and in the centre. I was feeling especially pleased when a lady started asking everyone to shift one seat to the left to accommodate her friend. Now, in a theatre it is still ok but in a play where you sit matters. The old couple next to me reluctantly moved but I refused. The lady was shocked…. someone refusing to shift their seats in India is preposterous. I explained to her that I have the perfect seat and went through a lot of trouble to book this one. She left and the old couple gratefully moved back to their original seats saying “We agree. We have the best seats, why give them up?”

  • Movies

I book corner seats whenever possible because they are convenient. Also, seats where I can stretch my legs are a preference. So, it is a shock when people decide to hijack your corner seats and expect you to sit in their non-corner seats. Though to be fair, this can only happen in Gurgaon. And no, I didn’t sit in their seats. I asked them to please vacate the seats we have booked. There is a reason why we can choose our seats while booking. BECAUSE WE WANT TO SIT IN THOSE SEATS.

  • Stand up comedy show

We arrive on time for the Ghanta Awards by East India Comedy at Epicenter. The show starts late because the audience is still walking in. 15 mins after the show starts and almost 30-40 mins from the original show time, a PYT (Pretty Young Thing) sits next to KC and then asks us to move to her seat in some other part of the auditorium so she can sit with her friend. I politely ask her to “shut the fuck up” because the show has started.

Basically, I am a total bitch and you do not want to sit in my spot.


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