Happy Diwali

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Be grateful… I never reply to Diwali wishes and hardly ever wish. No, I am not being rebellious… it is pure laziness. I have always been home during Diwali or atleast with parents. A lot of times we would have only 2 days off in school and final exams would be near. My school term was from March to November- due to extreme winters in Mt Abu and Christmas. The nuns wanted to celebrate X’Mas without nuisance and so they changed the school term.

Anyway, my parents were always around for Diwali except once… when I had joined the boarding. Parents sent loads of fire crackers for sis and me. While bursting them, 1 cracker went hay wire and almost hurt a kid. The nuns confiscated our crackers and no amount of begging and pleading helped. I hate all nuns… my hatred for them deserves a separate post altogether.
In the last 3 years, 2 Diwalis have been spent in Goa and 1 in Mumbai. I would have loved to go to Goa this year too. I went home instead after 3 years. Diwali has never been a happy one…. I won’t get into the details. I prefer Holi to Diwali. This time it was extremely low key ‘coz of my maternal granny’s death last month (maybe a separate post on that). Even on Diwali day I didn’t know it was Diwali and I realized about New Year too late.
In Gujarat, the 4th day is celebrated as New Year… everyone wakes up early, wears new clothes, decorates the home, lays out delicacies like namkeen, sweets, dry fruits etc. People go to each other’s houses and wish them. Generally, we would receive guests till afternoon and visit others in the evening. We would try and meet everyone… those we could not meet on the same day, we would visit sometime during the week. It was in Manipal I realized that New Year is a Gujju tradition. People outside do not follow it.
There was so much that I did at home:
  • I felt like I had never gone… my absence was visible on the walls… No, I never cleaned them or anything… but the effect my leaving had on the house residents was visible in their neglect
  • The first day I asked mom to cook besan ki sabji… which I could not make well last time I tried. I will give the recipe some other time… it is somewhat like ghatte… but better. Ghatte has only besan… while this veg has onions, anardana, chillies etc.
  • I took all the recipes I wanted. We wanted to make cheesecake but there was no time
  • I downloaded ZNMD and made my parents watch it… they were unimpressed
  • I downloaded Khuda Ke Liye since my dad liked Bol
  • Drove dad’s Manza and realized how smooth it was… now, craving for a car like that. He took me through the empty road and wanted me to drive at 20 kmph in traffic
  • Indulged in so many chocolates mom brought from New York…
  • Made fafdas- a Gujju specialty, made during Diwali
  • Ate Pav Bhaji at Honest Restaurant… and loved it
  • Opened all the cupboards and brought whatever I could. As kids, we loved exploring mom’s cupboard… it was always full of stuff and we could find something for ourselves
  • Had daal bhaati… being close to Rajasthan, it is a popular dish in my hometown. I plan to make it next week

The days flew past… I have been wanting the month to end, there is too much pressure. But the only holiday of the year is over and it does not feel good. I guess, I need to plan something for December to cheer me up.

Today has been relaxing. I flew back last night and reached home at midnight. There was no dinner since restaurants close down by 11 pm.
I woke up early… unpacked, washed clothes. The maid and cook turned up on time, thankfully. After buying groceries, I relaxed for sometime and then hit the gym. Now I am waiting for KC to arrive.
All in all, a good vacation and a significant one.

What a day!!!

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What a day!!! I was traveling for 10 hrs… with stops at various villages.
I came across a distributor in a small town with a laptop… a Dell laptop. Even Rajkot DBs do not have laptops.
The most amusing part of the day was when I met the most physcho db. Thank god the sales force does not have to deal with him ever again. There was another db who quit his job as engineer in Samsung at A’bad, shifted to Sanosara (an extremely small village) and started distribution. He is disappointed now and planning to shift locations again. Crazy!!!

All Gujjus (people belonging to Gujarat… not necessarily Gujaratis) are obssessed with business. Last month a db approached us for distribution of our products. The db’s cousin wanted to handle the operations. He is working in a leading telecom company but wanted to quit and start something on his own. We were impressed by his enthusiasm and passion. Next week we contacted him and he turned us down. His company had promoted him and all thoughts of “making it on his own” had flown away. Money-minded!!!

Everyone wants to own a business (me too)… I have seen very few succeed and the chances are lesser in this market scenario. My mama had a booming business which is slowly falling apart. He has shifted to a stable job. My cousin has a stable job but he wants to get into business… despite having failed earlier.

Thats it then… All days till Sat will be long ones… and month end is coming… it is going to be a super duper bad month.


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I read amazing reviews about this one and convinced Khushi to accompany me for it. We watched it in Red Lounge on recliner seats…. so comfy.

The flick is good… my expectations were high since it is Anurag Kashyap… I wouldn’t label it better than Dev D but it is good… and very real.

It is about the transformation of one man from a diligent student to a raging lover… and about politics.
Anurag’s movies have newcomers who are brilliant actors… Kay Kay is fabulous… as always.
I didn’t like the end… specially the part where Kiran tells Dileep that she used him… in real life you get used and the other person does not confess.
If only we could get the answers to questions asked… maybe pointing the gun works. I will try that next time.
A good movie… worth a watch once… just once.

I remembered my engg days… LD is the political center of Gujarat… if you want to enter politics join the college, get voted as the G.S. That post is a first step to a successful political career. Lets call a guy G… he wanted to be G.S… he beat up the candidate in opposition and bagged the post since nobody was ready to stand against him. He failed 3-4 times… during an examination the invigilator caught him cheating… G caught his collar and pushed him out of the classroom. G was suspended. Next day when seniors reached colleges for their exams all classes were locked… G had locked the classrooms and refused to open them till his suspension was lifted. On 25th dec which was a holiday the top people of Gujarat University had a meeting and lifted his suspension. Everyone sighed in relief and went back to giving exams.

To cite another instance… it had been a month into the college. One week before Diwali Holidays some seniors entered our class and asked us to move out. We were surprised and refused. They came again and threatened everyone.. all of us gathered outside the classroom wondering what was going on. The seniors had declared a strike.. we learned later that having a strike a week before any festival was a tradition… we called it midterm…. anyway… one guy was vociferous in his opposition.. he was one of the studious guys. One senior slapped him in front of all of us… we were shocked… some females started crying. Our Prof arrived after sometime… everyone narrated the incident to him. He said; “Well… I can see that nothing happens to you all inside college… but outside college toh nobody can give any guarantee”. That was enough to shake us up.. we picked up our bags and bolted out of the college and returned only once the seniors wanted us to.

Too late in the night for a title

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I am at mama’s place today at Veraval. Anyone heard of Saurashtra??? Thats where I am. I traveled to Porbander.. anyone remember Mohandas Gandhi? Porbander is his birth place.

As you near Veraval the terrain changes… if traveling by road you will notice the coconut trees, feel the cool weather, smell the sea, notice the lush greenary… if traveling by train the smell of fish will jolt you out of reverie.

The houses are made of stone here… not brick.

Mama picked me up from the bus… one of the perks here is that there is always someone to pick me up or drop me off… full 5 star treatment. At home dinner was ready for me… I hugged nani… wished Mami… abused my younger cousin bro (2nd std) and offered him M&M. As I bent to eat my food Mami noticed my butterfly tattoo… below my neck which is usually well hidden by clothes.
Mami: You got a tattoo???
Mama: When will it come off?
Me: Umm… it is permanent
Nani: Where??
(when she sees where it actually is.. gets scandalized)
Nani: Chee.. chee… and what have you done to your hair? You used to look so nice earlier
Me: Right Nani
Mami: You have lost some weight… the regime is working
Me (happy that someone noticed): Yes… totally
Nani: Manish is getting engaged… Lajjoo is getting engaged… when will you marry?
Me: In due time…

Nani is a very restless person… she prefers to do things on her own. She won’t let me carry my plate or make tea or fold the blanket… or anything else. It is weird having such an old person waiting on me.

Chalo… good night.

Dev D

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Amazing… fabulous.. what a movie… Khushi’s colleagues had given her a bad feedback about it but when Dhruv told me it is good… we headed for it at Cinemax. The theatre there is so small I felt I was sitting with everyone in my drawing room (the one in Gurgaon)… the couple next to me had brought a kid along even though this is ‘A’ rated…
The songs are so so so good… I liked them earlier but now I love them… Pardesia is better than emotional atyachar.
The movie is a modern version of Devdas… and about liquor, drugs and sex… Abhay deol is great (as always)… I love all his movies… the actresses are also good.
Anurag Kashyap has created a masterpiece (I have not watched No Smoking… and now I will)… he has shown immense creativity… this one is better than Slumdog Millionaire.
Watch it… but without your family… parents will get a culture shock even though this is based on reality.

Dev is a confused character and such a guy…. the scene where he decides to go to India to get laid after seeing Paro’s naked pics reminds me of a friend… who travelled all night to meet his gf and get laid… when she refused he got pissed and told me; “What does she expect? I didn’t go all the way to TALK to her… we can talk on the phone”. I agreed with him. Once Paro is lost his life loses direction (not that he had any)… and he gets addicted to sex, liqor and drugs. When he runs over 7 people there is nobody to support him… nobody to remove him from the darkness. He does see light at the end…
Paro is quite a character and very real… she is from a conservative background but thinks nothing about mailing naked pics to her bf or sleeping with him… the scene where she plans a tryst in the fields with him is too good… for once in Bollywood the actress has hormones… when Dev rejects her she marries for money. Khushi and me were discussing how many many females marry for money… You want money??? Earn it… don’t marry for it. I am not sure whether she is happy with her hubby or not but she gives up Dev… she could have left him and gone back to Dev but I think she is a practical female… my guy friends think females are more practical in relationships… at 24 and above, they are… they will never marry a loser… someone unsuccessful… someone not as good or better than them… and thats a fact.
Lenny/Chanda… her life takes a tragic turn… one mistake and the wrong person trusted become the headlines… and that too at such a young age. She turns into a hooker… but an educated one. She has what Dev does not… a willpower. Dev makes her realize how shallow her life is.

I don’t think Dev loves Paro… he is obssessed with her… attracted to her… but does he share his ups and downs, feelings with her? Nope… he does that with Lenny. And thats the happy ending… this realization.

Love decieves… it is blind…. it needs to tested… not the other person’s love but your love for him. Most of the time it won’t pass the test.

The population of the world and specially India is booming… I recommend that nobody should have kids anymore… but by mistake if you make a mistake don’t bring the mistake (your kid) to the theatre… and if you do, do not… absolutely do not sit next to me (my pic is on the blog… you will recognize me)… I hate kids… but in the theatre, the hatred increases a hundred fold…

I am feeling Yay today

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  • I am in A’bad at Khushi’s house
  • I had ghar ka khana
  • I will watch ‘Dev D’ with Khushi tom
  • I have completed my work
  • I am watching ‘Oye lucky… lucky oye’… amazing movie

Everytime I step into A’bad a warmth surrounds me… memories come flooding back… I feel happy. I crash at Khushi’s place… she is happy with my company… her parents don’t mind… but I miss Honey a lot (puuhhleease… come back sweetheart).

Anyway… cheers to a good and relaxing weekend… I need and deserve it.

Still working.. :(

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Yes… I am still working… have too much to do and less time. I don’t take tension on Saturday or Sunday… so I am going to finish as much as possible tonight even if it means keeping awake all night. Tomorrow I have to wake up early.

I had dinner with Rohan and his wife today. Rohan is my friend since college… we attended our MBA classes at the same center. I was one of the highest scorers in English. He had approached me and asked for tips to improve his English. We became friends.
I bumped into him in Oct at Rajkot. It was quite a surprise.
Anyway… the dinner was good… his wife is very sweet and innocent. I don’t remember the last time I met someone this innocent.

Earlier I spent 9 pm watching Sex and the City. The day the series ended on Zee Cafe I stopped watching TV. Guess what… they are showing repeat episodes at midnight now and I am so yay!!!
Tomorrow at this time I will be chatting or watching some movie with Khushi at A’bad.

Every episode SATC is related to some incident of my life. In today’s episode, Carrie comes across her ex-bf Mr Big who is getting engaged to another female. Carrie is shocked. He had told her he couldn’t commit… she is devastated. Getting mind fucked like this at 18 or 20 is expected… but at 35??? Horrible!!! Thank god for the few good men… I am with one of them.
Miranda and her ex-bf try to be friends… but end up having sex. I guess friendship with ex does not work out unless he is bad in bed.

Good night… I need to get back to my work…

Life in sales

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I went for dinner to one of the best restaurants in Rajkot today… Since I was looking for something light I ordered “thepla” (a Gujju dish like methi paratha)… a dish full of oil soaked theplas were served to me… just the sight of so much oil made me want to puke. I sent it away with instructions that the oil has to be reduced… the theplas returned with lesser oil (the top layer was probably wipped off with tissue)… I sent them away again with instructions that no oil was to be used… this time they returned roasted and not fried… but I had lost my appetite.
This is reality of life in sales… travelling a lot, staying in hotels, eating unhygeinic food. All of us have realized how screwed up our lifestyles have become. Last month I decided to change this trend and have suceeded.

Rajkot is an amusing place… after the paratha incident I hailed an auto to take me back to hotel from my gym. I was not carrying any money and intended to take cash from the ATM below my hotel.
Me: Do you have change for Rs 100?
Autowala: No… We will take it on the way
Me: I don’t have money… I will withdraw it from the ATM at my destination.. you can take change there
Him: Ok… I know where you stay… I have dropped you there earlier
Me: I don’t remember
Him: Its ok… you can pay me later
Me: No… no… absolutely not… we will find change

We reach the hotel but are unable to find change… the guy gives me an assurance that he will take the money tomorrow… he knows I go to the gym regularly and usually picks up passengers from there.

Sigh… not just my bank but even an autowala thinks I am credit worthy.

Introduction to What The Fuck!!!

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It is a dull Wed afternoon… I have met my sales target… waiting for the sales executive to pick me up so we can roam on the streets of Rajkot screaming “DB… db joyiye che” (Distributor… need a DB). It is our daily ritual for past 2 months which has yielded no results. I like how practical my company is…. lets name it ABC… we do not use scoping, targeting, tele calling etc. Such MBA techniques are for the sissies… real men (in my case, real women) just go out there and “Do It”.

Don’t mind the double meaning dialogues on this blog… after 3 blogs (1 in college… 1 at job… 1 anonymous) I know how to pull traffic (hint: read blog title).

Why have I started another blog? Lets see… I am missing the attention in my life.So.. this blog.

I will try to be as controversial as possible… I promise. And unlike most bloggers… I will update it quite often… maybe even everday (keep your fingers crossed).

All said and done… I am such a Gemini.