Super Sappy Post

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There are 2 times in a year when I wonder whether marriage was the biggest mistake of my life.

But rest of the year, I think ‘Shit, can anyone else be more perfect for me?’

No. This is not a sappy post. I don’t do sappy. I do sarcasm which I like to call ‘funny’. This is as romantic as it gets.

Scene 1:

KC and me comparing who has the worst set of fb friends.

Me : This female wished her hubby on fb a ‘Happy 1 month of marriage’

Him : This female got a passport for her kid and has put up the pic of the passport and the pic of the pic on passport on fb

Me : You win

Since a female has stopped putting pics of her new born baby every month to show how much he has grown, I have nothing exciting happening on my wall anymore.

Scene 2:

I am watching ‘Secretary’ in the bedroom while KC is watching the India Vs SA match in the living room. He barges in just as a spanking scene is starting

Him : Sheee… you are watching porn

Me : Shoo…. let me watch. And it’s not porn

Him : Hey… wait… I have seen this scene

Me : Just the scene? Not the movie? Such a pervert. Am sure you have googled ‘erotic scenes in Hollywood, Bollywood and South Indian movies’ No wonder you have seen every ‘erotic’ scene that exists

Scene 3:

KC is now following me on twitter which is a pain because I have to be careful about the hubby related jokes. I am this close to blocking him out.

On Maha Shivaratri I read something on twitter about how it’s a day to feed snakes some milk.

So I sent some twitter milk to my 18 year old friends ‘Saap Association’ who are studying for their boards right now. I was careful enough to write ‘twitter milk’ because I have made enough jokes on ‘milk’ as a perverted teenager who grew up with other perverts.

‘Apparently, today is the day to feed milk to ya guys. Here’s some twitter milk… yenjoy!!! Slurp! Slurp!’

Now I am the butt of KC’s jokes on how I am such a pervert and don’t even spare 18 year olds. Sigh!!!

To block him or not to block him on twitter.

Scene 4:

KC comes home. I had asked him to ask the guard when the water is supposed to come since a pipe burst and there was no water at home.

Me : Yaay… paani aa gaya.

Him : Yes, I know. I read it on twitter

I have to come up with separate conversation material now.

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