Stop and Stare

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This town is colder now, I think it’s sick of us
It’s time to make our move, I’m shaking off the rust
I’ve got my heart set on anywhere but here
I’m staring down myself, counting up the years
Steady hands, just take the wheel…
And every glance is killing me
Time to make one last appeal… for the life I lead

Stop and stare
I think I’m moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I’ve become what I can’t be, oh
Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you’re here not there
And you’d give anything to get what’s fair
But fair ain’t what you really need
Oh, can you see what I see

They’re trying to come back, all my senses push
Untie the weight bags, I never thought I could…
Steady feet, don’t fail me now
Gonna run till you can’t walk
Something pulls my focus out
And I’m standing down…

Stop and stare
I think I’m moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I’ve become what I can’t be, oh
Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you’re here not there
And you’d give anything to get what’s fair
But fair ain’t what you really need
Oh, you don’t need

What you need, what you need…

Stop and stare
I think I’m moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I’ve become what I can’t be
Oh, do you see what I see…

I don’t exactly understand what the song is about… but love love love it. I played it over and over and over (around 10 times) while driving from Vashi to Mulund. I like to do that sometimes… play one song on loop.
Every time I think… I can get used to staying alone… its not so bad… then KC comes home… fills my life with love, laughter, tears, mood sings, intimacy, pranks, hugs, cuddles… and when he leaves… I am filled with darkness.
We complete one year of marriage this month… and it is weird to say “marriage anniversary”… I’d rather celebrate the day we got together (both of us don’t remember the exact date… we have to search our chats in gtalk). I turn back and see how our relationship has changed… what we have discovered about each other… how much closer/comfortable we are… and how the attraction is going strong… how we have learned to adjust to each others’ natures… learned to deal with conflicts (1 fight every 2 months is kinda healthy)… tried to include each other’s friends in our “joint” life (these days it is a package deal… invite 1 get another 1 free)… and lots more.
One thing I really love to do is take his advice… not ‘coz I can’t decide… but I like to discuss something before deciding (I may not always follow the advice… and thats ok).
Example for an extreme to this is below:
KC and I bought mangoes the other day. He was boasting to his Mom how he picked the mangoes and they turned out to be tasty.
KC: I am the official mango selector from now on
Me: Ok… I will have to survive on the 3 mangoes at home this week
KC: Why?
Me: ‘Coz you will come home next week and you are the mango selector
KC: You can do this… go to the market… call me, describe each mango in detail and buy the one I ask you to
Don’t be surprised if you see a lady describing a dozen mangoes on the phone to her hubby and then buying the ones he “okays”.


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