Simply exhausted

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I have been exhausted these last few days… No, not a physical exhaustion… Its a mental one. I am so tired of juggling so many things in my life and there isn’t one of them I can give up one.
My day begins with a workout (if I wake up)… Then, the cook rings the bell… I give her instructions for b’fast and lunch basis the menu decided for the week. There are maybe 10 mins when I drink milk and read the paper. Oh yes, I have to remember to turn on the geyser as soon as I wake up. I rush for bath… And the maid walks in. We have b’fast, KC packs the tiffins. I remember to carry a fruit, boiled egg and nuts to office. I drop KC off and then drive to office. Around 6, I rush home… Throw clothes for wash… Make a smoothie… The cook walks in… Give her instructions for dinner, wait for her to finish and then rush for my workout… Return an hour later… Have dinner… Watch TV or do something for an hour. If I am lucky, the clothes have been washed and folded else do that. Sleep.

I wish there was one thing I could cut out of my day…. Workout? Nope… Household duties? I don’t like a messy house… Work? I want to be financially independent.

Some days I want to be taken care of… I want someone to worry about inconsequential things like if I have eaten or if I want to wake up a little late (for a change) or maybe even surprise me with something I have been talking about like plants for the balcony.

But its so much easier to buy something expensive because it requires no effort or thought. It is so much easier to shower someone with hugs and kisses or poems because it requires no effort at all.

And now I am tired. Either I have to let go of a few things in life but then they will never get done. Or I need to become a superwoman and do everything on my own without expectation. I am at a cross road where it is one of the two. There is no other option.

I just want to go on a vacation or just take a break. But wait, even that requires planning, booking and paying for it. And since I am the only one to do it, its best I don’t take a vacation.

Thank god I don’t have kids. I would be on the verge of suicide by now. 1 point for no kids.


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