Promiscuous Girl

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Z: So, she has slept with 5 guys

Me: So? Whats your no?
Z: 3
Me: Thats IT???? Really, after all the trying… it is just 3?
Z: Well, Yeah
Btw, the no 3 is despite all the trying and thinking about getting laid for every awake moment.
I got thinking about promiscuity. How do I define it? Can someone be judged as promiscuous? What is the no? 3, 5, 10 or more?
I remember this dialogue from the movie ‘Girl Interrupted’ …
“How many guys do I have to sleep with to be considered promiscuous?”… “Ten eight five”… “How many girls would a guy have to sleep with to be considered promiscuous”… “Ten ? ? ?”
If a person becomes sexually active at say 20 (it is a reasonable age) and gets married at 26 (very reasonable age for both men and women)… and if he/she sleeps with 1 person per year… he/she would have slept with 6 men/women by the time he/she gets married. Maybe more if the marriage is delayed.
Imagine telling a guy you have met for arranged marriage that you have slept with 6 guys… the most broad/open minded person will have a BIG problem with it. When it comes to love, there is a choice of not talking about it.
I have no moral stand. I don’t think there is anything wrong with one night stands. As long as both the people involved are single and ready to mingle. After all, sexual experimentation is part of the growing up process.
And yet, as Indians we are fixed on nos. 3, 5, 10. We believe that sex has to be linked to love… even when thats the case, how many first relationships work out? And isn’t sexual compatibility part of the deal? What if you love someone but are not sexually compatible? For me, its a deal breaker.
I have this friend, I call a commitment guy… someone who is decent, courteous, harmless… he has already been in 5 relationships. If someone like him who believes in morals very strongly, has such a high no… what chance is there for someone who believes in casual sex?
I guess there is no such as promiscuity… not in my dictionary anyway.


7 thoughts on “Promiscuous Girl

  1. >> I have this friend, I call a commitment guy… someone who is decent, courteous, harmless… he has already been in 5 relationships. If someone like him who believes in morals very strongly, has such a high no… what chance is there for someone who believes in casual sex?

    Don’t get me wrong. But if someone is already been in 5 relationships, I will tend to disagree that he is commitment guy, may be he is living a fake life, not true to himself.

  2. truly said.. that word is just an adjective nothing more and is considered with negative connotation which shouldn’t be (except diseases transmission) as its just a behaviour!! Foodie is also an adjective…match that 🙂

  3. Moralities can be debated to world’s end. People don’t think for a second before taking the moral high ground while commenting on /judging others.

    Everything in this world is relative. Relatively bad and relatively good.Also, plenty depend on how you up it across. For eg. If there’s a girl about to get married and she has two choices that she’s looking at. a guy who has been in 5 relationships and a guy who has slept with 5 girls. She is bound to choose the first one. So it depends on how you put it across. Also, if she has a choice between a guy who has slept with 3 women and a guy who has slept with 10 women, she is bound to choose the guy who has slept with 3 other women. ( lesser of the two evil) This logic is so skewed.

    Life is fickle. In our strongest of relationships and periods, there are times when we doubt and want to get out of it. Everyday our feelings keep changing ( mellowing or growing) so in such a scenario, why on earth would you want to add another parameter of Morality to it.
    People, married or not, sleep with other people in their heads, all the time. Isn’t that being promiscuous? It is in our nature to be promiscuous. It is the level that differs from person to person.
    I have a very different stand when it comes to morality which is not liked by most people. So usually, I keep my opinions to myself. This post actually stirred the hornet’s nest in my head today!
    The best mantra is to live and let live.

  4. @ Anonymous: This post is for people like you who are narrow minded and judgmental. The success of a relationship depends on many factors… compatibility, attraction, monetary issues, jobs, family etc etc. Finding someone where everything works out is extremely difficult. Trial and error is part of the process. Commitment is about intention and not the result

    @ RT: True

    @ Anita: Wow… such a well balanced view. You have covered every aspect.

  5. @anita’s statement about mentally sleeping with people is so bang on!! and we dont call it pormiscous nature just coz we dont know!! ha the beliefs we have!

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