I had planned to write this post a day before ADHM but the thoughts are flooding my head and my heart feels so heavy I want to rip it out with my bare hands.
On Sunday I won’t run with my legs. I will put every inch of my soul, body and heart into it. My life will flash by me in those 3 hours and every success, failure, hurt, disappointment will propel me forward. I will run to make sense of the puzzle that is life. I will run to evade the questions there are no answers to. I will run to feel like am insignificant. I will run to feel alive. My breath will be in sync with my feet. I will try to block out the people around me. I will try to feel part of the crowd. I will stop only when every muscle in my body is hurting.
At the finish line, I would have nothing left to give. Just the empty feeling that the journey is over. And every training hour was worth it. Every missed party/booze session/late night chats with friends were so I could do this. Every early morning wake up call, long hours on the road, lonely Saturday nights in bed, after work hours at the gym were for this madness.
A certain void at the end of it all because it may be my last 21.1 km.