I was reading my old blog and the frankness of the posts amazed me… I used to be so open, fun, warm… and “naive”. I miss the old me. Life does toughen us up even when we don’t want it to.
Either we become cold on the outside and the inside or we become cold inside and preserve the outer warmth… in other words, we fake it. I admire people who can let themselves “out there” ‘coz I cannot.
I am going to move in with KC… finally. We have been craving for this moment for almost 2 years and yet I have not taken out the time to savour the moment. I have not tried to feel happy. I am so scared… I don’t want to wake up and realize it is a dream. I remember how I had cried in December thinking that its going to be another long, drawn out process and one of us will have to make tough decisions. I may have to quit… look for another job. Sigh!!! Looking for another job is tiring. I want to do it only when I reach a stage where going to work makes me want to cry every morning. Thats the signal that its time to quit. Until then, I guess its not so bad.
Most of the posts on the old blog are on guys… the hurt felt when I was dumped, getting over the heartbreak, moving on, searching for love etc etc. Now I think; “It was about standing still and letting love find me”. Thats the only explanation I have.
KC is not perfect (faaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrr from it) but he is perfect for me. I love how he is so warm with me… always cuddling, hugging, just being next to me. I remember telling him I am not a touchy feely person and would not be comfy even holding hands. I always preferred to sit opposite a guy in the restaurant so I could look at him when we talk. KC taught me to sit next to him so we could be naughty. I love how I can nag him into doing things… how we fight and laugh the next moment (if it is not something extremely serious).
I love his sense of humour the most… it is as mean as mine… ok, maybe meaner. I love how he can turn my outbursts into jokes. Our favourite is the one where I was extremely frustrated with him and in the most sarcastic, womanly manner said; “Thanks for the support!!!” I have to hear the line from him whenever I don’t do little things… like maybe compliment him or get him something from the kitchen.
But the best part was the courtship period when he was all mushy and sweet talk and gentlemanly .. bringing me a rose on EVERY date. I kid you not… he did that. Anyone who has met him will not believe it… and he and I both would not dream of him getting roses now. And of course, we both have the same level of perversion. That really, really helps.
Someone tweeted the other day; “As I grow older I lose my looks but gain a personality”.
Ok… here is something hilarious I came across. My sis had make a mock matrimonial profile for me long, long, long back: (Bogi, Mogi and Chari are Sindhi mild abuses between me and my sis)
Date of Birth: 11th June, 1973
Weight: 90 Kgs
Up to Std X:
BE (2005): Bachelor of Idiotical Engineering, Ahmedabad
MBA: Sadal College, Karnataka (First in University)
Background: XYZ is bogi, mogi, and chari. She has grown up in a tightly-knit nuclear family of five that respects cultural and religious values. She is very religious, and performs pooja ten times a day, five of which are in a Hindu temple. She enjoys singing, dancing, painting, acting, modeling, carpentry, reading, robotics, and astronomy. She may not necessarily be good in these, though. She is full of dignity, truth, and honesty.
Sister’s Name: ABCABA ABC (MBA, married and settled in
Background: ABC is the epitome of intelligence and beauty, and is God’s gift to mankind. She complements XYZ bogi in every way. ABC has truly contributed to Kalyug’s human race with the goodness of her kind heart. She has greatly uplifted the standard of living of
India’s poverty-stricken masses.
What we are looking for: We are seeking a boy with potential for being hen-pecked. We want someone who will dance to her tunes and put each paisa of his salary in her hand. Looks and good body extremely important (sinewy muscles a must), brains optional.
With that… it is good bye, finally.