I have this effect on many people- they want to try and change me. Unwanted feedback has become a way of life for me. I don’t remember the first time it happened… but my blunt, straight forward, aggressive attitude gets to many people. I won’t ask why. In India people are expected to be mild mannered, polite people. Nothing wrong with it… except some of us are not like that. It is more shocking when seen in a woman.
Sigh!!! I do realize some things have to be toned down but there is this thought that people giving the feedback are not perfect. And the most interesting point is I have never given people feedback. It is just an opinion, after all. I cannot make it a yardstick to judge myself. At the same time, I do not take most appreciation seriously. Yes… it feels good.. makes me confident. But I also remember the time when it was not forthcoming or was negative. I am the same person… but perceptions have changed. Work has a lot to do with it. Performance can change personal opinions or atleast mute negative opinions.
Even though there is scope for improvement I believe in judging myself basis my yardsticks and opinions do not matter.
Don’t let the world change you… that is my belief. After 3.5 years I have worked with all sorts of people and even though we want same qualities in everyone- independent, open minded, lenient, believes in work life balance, knows his job well, no egos, good negotiation, sensible etc etc etc… it doesn’t work like that. Everyone is different and you cannot change them.
Do not let your job change who you are.
I recently got a feedback that I work with my mind and not with my heart. Well, thats the only way I can do it. I can love what I do but not who I do it with… ‘coz the corporate world is filled with the most unreliable people of all. Every organization has goals that people work towards. The goal and company come before people. I have seen it happen. That is the world order. Work is about the mind… there are plenty other things for the heart.