Lovemaking is an Art

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*My blog needs some extra hits in the next 2 days to reach my target so – this post. Kidding. I am very serious about this one. It is one of the most important posts I have ever written.

Disclaimer : These are the views of all the sexually active and willing to talk about it- women I know. I will not reveal any names because we/they do not want the men to stop having sex with us/them, na*

Indian menol in India (I will restrict myself to the categories we know about) are shitty when it comes to sex. Most men (thankfully, not all) think sex comes naturally. You get naked with a woman and you will automatically know what to do.

If you are male or even female and you think that way, this post is for you. Please read, learn and implement… ok?

1) Sex is an art

Just like any art, it needs inspiration, practice and talent. The good news is that the former can easily trump the latter unlike in the case of say painting or writing. If we spend our entire lives dedicated to acquiring practical and theoretical knowledge about sex, it still won’t be enough. There is lots and lots and lots to know. Unfortunately, most people don’t think that way… specially in our country and we end up barely grazing the tip of the iceberg instead of diving deep into the water and embracing what’s beneath.

2) Sex is not like withdrawing cash

  • Enter the ATM
  • Push a few buttons
  • Insert the card
  • Wait for cash to dispense
  • Remove card
  • Leave happy

Sigh. Sounds familiar? It does to me… and quite a few of my friends.

3) Porn = Education

I appreciate people who watch porn. It is important to watch porn but for more than getting yourself off. Watch the right kind of porn and educate yourself. And please watch the one which is more women oriented… where the guy spends more time in foreplay than in putting his massive dick into her tiny vagina. In reality, it has to be reverse… more time on the buildup and less on the climax. Unless you are married for 5+ plus years and then you already know what you like, what you don’t and you can just get down to it… with the addition of some new things.

4) Size matters… upto a certain point

Size does matter because dicks have to be a certain minimum size to be able to perform their job well. I don’t know what that size is… I can only tell you when I see it. Good news- after that minimum size, it does not matter what it is like- thick, thin, long, short….

5) Kissing – the most important first step

Most Indian men are terrible kissers…. terrible. And I don’t understand how difficult it is. Watch movies and learn, na. It is the least complicated of everything you will ever have to do in bed. But the most important. A kiss determines whether you get to the next base or not.

A kiss starts with the lips and not the tongue. When men (since I don’t have experience with women… and the women I know don’t have it either… Yet) resort to tongue from the word “go”, they are not confident about their kissing skills. Don’t deep dive into her mouth with your tongue like you are looking for some lost treasure.

Very… very… very… important. Get this right… even if you have to practice on your roommate (male/female/dog).

5) Get a mentor

Some men I know have learned the skills from a woman. Basically, they have been given a guided tour in bed by a woman. Nothing beats this one. If you can… get someone to mentor you. Or atleast, ask the woman you are with what she likes and what she wants. And listen to her when she tells you what she likes. Because if she thinks you are not listening she won’t say it again… and well, let’s just say- she needs good sex to be happy.

6) Men who brag

Men who brag are the worst in bed. Those who are good in bed don’t need to talk about their “prowess’. This is the biggest turn off. Women- if he brags, don’t get into bed with him. He needs the extra “talking” to make him feel secure.

7)  Foreplay

When you are 18 or a virgin at any age, foreplay does not matter so much. There is a whole lot of nonsense in your head about sex… the whole “act” is where you think the secret lies. It is only once you get more experience, you realize what hogwash that is. Foreplay and that includes even the non-physical part- the talking, flirting, complimenting, caressing, hugging, touching…. will determine which base you reach. If your skills are restricted to clumsily groping a woman, please just go for arranged marriage. Because a sexually active woman will not go all the way with you. Unless she pities you and then she might have sympathy sex… once. *Happens*

8) You only have one chance

If you are married, this isn’t relevant. But if you are single, you have that once chance to give a woman a good time. If you mess it up, for whatever reason, she won’t sleep with you again. I know someone who had performance issue in bed with a woman… it was their first time together… and now as nice as he is to her… she will not do it again with him. Because it just made her feel insecure about her body. Who wants to feel that way naked? We (women) feel like that most of the time anyway.

9) For the woman

If you do not know your body and what triggers work for you… the man you are with can only hope to find out. If sex does not give you the biggest high, it is because you don’t know how to get there. Watch porn… explore your body… masturbate… and then teach your man… the key to a happy life.

10) Feedback

Women will never say you are bad in bed. We know that hurts more than anything else. I have a simple rule- I have never complimented someone who isn’t good. Basically, when I compliment, I mean it. But I cannot vouch that other women do the same. Good news – I don’t know any women who fake it.


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