Most days I wake up feeling strong and appreciating my body. The unimaginable things it has done in the last few years make me proud every minute of every day.
And then there are days like today. When I had to miss my flight because am unwell. Why am I unwell? Because of my monthly cycle. Sure, I have been having it for years and yet, it can surprise with new ways to screw me. The periods came along with fatigue and body pain so bad I couldn’t get out of bed yesterday morning. The only PMS symptom was the fight I had with KC. That happens like clockwork. We do banter a lot but I recall fighting with him around my periods every single time.
Now my periods are being accompanied by loose motions. I didn’t make the connection at first and thought it was food poisoning until KC said that it happened last month as well. I read online and my flatmate confirmed that it happens to her too. So now these are a list of issues I will possibly deal with once every month:
- Sensitivity in breasts, making them hurt even when I walk
- Abdominal cramps
- Dizziness, if on IF
- Mood swings
- Bloating and weight gain
- A spike in hormones making me want to fuck the next man I come across
This is the first time I had to cancel a trip because of my body and it’s not fair. Does that mean I should avoid all travel around my periods date? It isn’t easy any way. I don’t have access to loos except when we stop for lunch at a restaurant, I carry sanitary napkins with me at all times and I haven’t taken a day off even when I woke up dizzy last month.
Basically, am pushing myself twice as hard as a man would have to because am a woman. My gender and biology is pulling me down. And here I am, trying to prove am as good as any man in this male dominated field. Let’s face it, nobody is going to acknowledge that a woman is better at this job than a man. There is the fragile male ego that needs to be preserved.