Last words on the documentary and am done

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Hi. As you know I have super pissed about the rapist’s interview. I am more pissed about the interview than the documentary. And no, I don’t think it should be banned. Nothing should be banned. I don’t like it, I won’t watch it. I didn’t know who to talk this with. I wanted to discuss- meaning I wanted to speak to someone who agrees with me. RT is too far away to speak on the phone on an impulse so I called J. Not saying that J was a 2nd option. Just that I knew RT would agree with me but didn’t know J’s stand.

A little about J. We were friends in college and stayed in touch. We even met up a few times in Bangalore once we started working. And then had a disagreement and broke contact. I wanted to get back in touch but didn’t know how since she broke off contact. And she wanted to get back in touch but thought I would be mean after how she broke off. So, years passed- 6 years, to be exact.

Few months back a common acquaintance from college started a Whatsapp group and J and I were back. She is dealing with major shit in life and we end up speaking every few days or atleast checking in almost everyday. She was a prude when in college (and admits it) but has changed over the years. Like, I would be the one with the broad minded view and she with the conservative view earlier… but we were still friends because we listened with an open mind. Now, we think on similar lines.

So expecting J to share my view I called her. BUT she disagreed with me. And we had a conversation with opposing points of view but she convinced me while agreeing some of my thoughts make sense.

Will I watch the documentary? I don’t know. If I could watch it with J around, I probably would.

A few highlights of the discussion:

– The documentary is not just about the rapist’s interview. That is the only thing I read in the newspaper, on facebook and twitter. It focuses on the Nirbhaya case- her parents have been interviewed and defense lawyers’ too. I wish they had left out the rapist. My fear is there will be so many men thinking ‘He is right. How dare she be out with a guy at 9 pm’. I know people (men and women both) think that way. I don’t want to hear it said, though

– Thanks, media. You guys are the biggest assholes. If only you would have covered what the parents or the sympathizers had to say instead of the rapist I doubt there would be a controversy or a ban.

– Was the rapist’s interview necessary? My feeling is that it was done to generate controversy so more people watch it.

– J’s view was that people will watch the documentary and realize what an asshole the rapist is and how he has no remorse. They will be shocked to know that there has not been even 1 hearing in the last year. This is supposed to be a fast tracked case.

– My view is that the rapist is probably thanking his lucky stars. He got away with only 3 years. He is laughing to himself everyday and night of how chuthiya our justice system is. Remorse would have come (probably) if he would get hanged and he was interviewed right before the hanging. A criminal does not show remorse for the crime… he/she shows remorse for getting caught. That’s the reality. And if you don’t know it, there is a lot of growing up you need to do.

– Another thing we discussed was how the lawyer said that Nirbhaya and the guy were making out on the bus and this provoked the men into raping her. We talked about how our parents don’t know we had pre-marital sex. This is what I grew up with – my mom telling me she would shoot her daughters if they ever had boyfriends. That’s small town mentality and most Indian parents think that way. So, don’t be surprised if more men/women agree with the rapist- that she deserved it.

– J made a point that the documentary will change people’s minds and they will become aware etc etc. Which is a point many other people are making on twitter. I suggested we show this documentary and similar ones to our respective mothers and see if that changes their minds. Like, will my mother finally give up her ego and be ok with my marriage and will hers say ‘Sorry’ for the sexist crap? That made us laugh like hyenas. When there is no hope that our parents who claim to love us so much and are educated will change their minds, what hope is there for the uneducated, rural masses? None.

– And all the people who are raging on twitter and facebook (including me)- we are too coward to go out and make a change. So we sit behind a dumb machine and rage at injustice. We are not better or more evolved or with more depth because we protest on facebook. It’s fucking facebook. And we are all on the internet because we cannot deal with ‘real life’. All our selfies, pics of kids, regular updates are just an annoying need for gratification. But that is fodder for another post.

I won’t be moved by the documentary. I know what happens. I grew up with it – in one way or the other. It is around me – in one way or the other. And if you are- you really need to get a better life. Because you know nothing.

The initial reviews on twitter call the documentary ‘patronizing’. That’s it then. It’s not worth even 1 or rather 2 blog posts if they have not even bothered to make it non-sappy.

As for the title… I leave you with below twitter discussion between Aditi Mittal and Barkha Dutt.

The rapist is as much India’s son as Nirbhaya was India’s daughter.

BUT I do not think this should be banned or stopped from airing on TV. We are a democracy and free to watch what we want. To each his own.

In fact, the government comes off as wanting to hide something by banning it. What are you afraid of? Haven’t we heard everything about that rape? Didn’t we read everything in the papers? Or are you trying to hide how the legal system has failed?

Thanks to the ban this documentary just might win an Oscar, mediocre or not.


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