The last place on this planet where I wasn’t judged for my introversion was my school. It still amazes me on how much alone time I could get in a place where everyone was cooped up in 4 walls. Of course, those 4 walls extended to a huge amount of space and consisted of – a huge playground, skating rink, school for the younger kids, school for older kids, an area for recreation, a slope for entering and exiting, library, so many classrooms, a grotto, chapel, huge area to play kho kho, a graveyard (not kidding. You could jump over a low wall and enter it), another playground for younger kids. AND for boarders there were various dormitories, study room, refectories (for meals).
I wasn’t the only one, most of the girls would spend time on their own and it wasn’t weird. You could study alone or in groups. Just walk alone or in a group. Read alone or in groups.
The problem started once I left school. I was thrown into the world of extroverts. My mother comes from a family of extroverts (mainly) who are loud, love to gossip and celebrate all festivals together. This was a far cry from her current nuclear family which included an introverted husband and 3 weird kids who just wanted to stay home.
Anyway, I have spent all my life since school apologizing , justifying or rebelling for my basic nature. I need alone time. I need to come back home and read. When am forced to party till late night, it unnerves me because the conversation adds no value to my life. I keep wishing I’d stayed home instead and read. I don’t want to do this ALL THE TIME but there has to be a balance.
Reading ‘Introvert Power’ is making me realize how much I have been trying to justify and apologize for who I am.
Running has been a BIG help. It is a time I spend with myself, thinking random stuff. So, when I have to justify WHY I run alone, it seems unfair.
More ranting coming up as I read the book.