Kidney stones

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I am holed up in Gurgaon because of a kidney stone scare. I will write about it once am sure it’s over and am ok. While the doctor is convinced it’s over, I want to be absolutely sure.

This post is about the first time I had kidney stones. There is 70-80 % of kidney stones recurring and hence, due care has to be taken. In fact, doctors are convinced the pain in my tummy on Monday night was stones is because of this reason even though there are no clear symptoms and nothing specific in the test results. And no, it wasn’t because of eating too many mangoes or gas and methi seeds isn’t the cure. Stop diagnosing someone’s illness.

Flashback :

I was in college and sexually active. One day, there was blood in my pee. I thought it is periods and wore a pad. But it would bleed only when I peed. And even after I finished peeing I wanted to pee more. I spent large amount of time in the loo. Though my dad was a doctor I was very scared to tell him this. For one, how do you talk about blood in your pee in a traditional family? Second, I was sexually active and worried this was a STD. Yes, we used a condom. Always. But I had zero knowledge then and limited access to the internet. The women in my hostel knew lesser. I had given sex education to females in my engineering hostel AND MBA hostel.

I turned to my boyfriend. He agreed to take me to a gynaecologist but refused to come inside the clinic. He was afraid he would be spotted by someone who knows him and tell his family. And then he would have no answer to why he accompanied me to a gynaecologist. Logical. But when it comes from someone who you claim to love and care about, it’s a dick move. The fact that even in times of someone’s illness, you are only worried about yourself is a neon board for everyone “stay away from this man. Nothing good will come out of this”.

The gynaecologist said it is probably kidney stones. I heaved a sigh of relief and decided to call my parents. My boyfriend wasn’t very happy with the decision because incase it turned out to be STD, my parents would know I have been sexually active and his source of sex would get cut off. Worse, I may tell them it was him and they would tell his parents. In best case scenario, we would have to break off. In worst case scenario, we would have to get married.

Thankfully, nothing of the sort happened. I went home and the kidney stone passed out on it’s own. I know I drink less water and the fear of a stone is always at the back of my head. I wasn’t aware that its chances of a recurrence are so high. So am going to take extra care.

I met an old acquaintance from college in A’bad and the bf’s name came up. Nonchalantly I was telling him about some incident in college which featured the boyfriend. He was shocked I was talking about him and said “you are still talking about him. You are not over him”. I wasn’t sure how to respond. Who we want to spend our life with is a complex decision and prospective people for that are judged solely on incidents like the one mentioned above. Would you want to be friends with someone like this? I wouldn’t. Forget about anything more. In fact, I parted with people and ended friendships over smaller issues than this.

I am not writing this to bitch about a college boyfriend but this is the only memory I have about a kidney stone. Until now. If it was a stone. I am still not sure.

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