Karva Chooth : Ten things your husband should surprise you with if he truly loves you

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  1. The best oral sex of your life. Actually, even if he is lame at it you won’t know because am pretty sure you were a virgin when you got married… but atleast it will be the best oral sex of YOUR life; if not his
  2. An all expenses paid trip (by him, obviously… your earnings are pocket money, darling) to an exotic island
  3. The biggest solitaire you have EVER seen. Let’s admit it, that is the real reason you are trying to kill yourself
  4. A Jaguar… because… Honey Singh type singer said it…
  5. Apple Iphone 6s Plus 64 GB…. because you have to make your poorer girlfriends jealous na
  6. Louis Vuitton ka monogrammed purse… because how will anyone know it is LV agar naam poore bag pe likha nahi hoga?
  7. Designer dress… and aisa waisa Indian designer nahi… firang designers only
  8. Super expensive meal at a 5 star. Why else have you been starving all day, right? Matlab…. 5 courses toh minimum hone chahiye
  9. A bouquet of Juliet Roses flown specially from abroad which will cost $150 plus delivery. None of those lame ass red roses for the Karva ladies
  10. The last and lamest on the list- do something nice for her. Clean those damn fans, fold those clothes, cook something nice for her, take her to that ice skating rink she has wanted to go for the longest time, run errands, buy groceries… simple things. And do it everyday of your life. *Sorry, for a minute I forgot what the post was all about. Doing this one will only get you a tantrum and taunts till the next Karva. Please ignore this point*

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