Karva Chooth : Ten things that could go seriously wrong this year

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  1. Your husband turns into a werewolf when he spots the moon. You will have to start fasting for your own long life then.
  2. Your husband drops dead because you gave into temptation and had a sip of water. Oh., the horror!!! Kalmuhi… kalankit… etc etc etc
  3. Imagine the cosmetic companies refuse to run a discount on your favourite make up brand. OMG… Now you have to pay full price to apply all those chemicals on your face and look like a completely different person. Blasphemy!!!
  4. The husband refuses to gift you anything. And that too AFTER you have spent all day hungry. Eat him… eat him, I say. Useless, worthless piece of shit.
  5. The mehendi colour is very, very light and that’s when you realize that your husband has been cheating on you all long. I think I can actually write a script around this situation and sell it to Ekta Kapoor. Should I? *According to Hindu traditions, the darker the colour of the mehendi, the more your husband loves you*
  6. You start your periods on Karva Chauth. Oh …. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Now the entire family will know why you had to skip the Puja. Nobody will pamper you. You will be shunned from all festivities.
  7. The traditionalists decide to revive Sati. I mean, if you are going to fast for your husband’s long life… what is the point of your life after his death? You should also end your life at his pyre.
  8. The market runs out of red sindoor and you end up applying red mirchi powder. What is a little more pain for that rat husband? He is, after all, your pati parmeshwar.
  9. Karan Johar and Aditya Chopra decide to stop showing Karva Chauth in their movies. Damn it, now how will everyone pretend like it’s cool and “in”?
  10. Your MIL decides to gift you the most hideous lehenga and insists you wear on that day. What an opportunist, straight of an Ekta Kapoor serial.

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