Incest- Rakshabandhan- Brozone Day

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On the auspicious day of the super regressive festival called Raksha Bandhan am going to talk about incest. I feel like as I grow older and time passes, Indian society and maybe even US society becomes more and more regressive. USA- you need to stop all those Gujju migrations if you want a non regressive society. I grew up watching Bold and the Beautiful and Banegi Apni Baat and listening to Ila Arun’s songs- Nigodi kaisi jawani hai and today I watch Hollywood movies in the theatre with “fuck” beeped out. The first reaction Indians have to anything is “ewww”. Everything is “eww”. So here is my post justifying incest. Because falling in love is not wrong.

I am so tired of people making jokes about someone who married thrice. Because it is better to stick to one asshole than get out of the relationship and try again. And again. And again. Are we the same generation which didn’t judge Ross in Friends for marrying thrice? I am also tired of people being shocked because someone was in a relationship with her “step” brother. Here are all the times I have seen brothers and sisters dating and no, I didn’t go “eww”.

  • Cersei and Jaime in Game of Thrones. The most memorable speech is the one in which Jaime tells Catelyn (Ned’s wife) that he is more loyal than Ned because he has never cheated on Cersei. They were connected at birth, they were born from the same womb and nothing else can make two people closer. Makes sense.
  • Dan and Serena in Gossip Girl. Their parents dated as teenagers, broke up and then married other people. They re-marry but that does not stop Dan and Serena from dating.
  • Lost. Boone (Ian Somerhalder) is in love with his sister and sleeps with her.

Attraction is all about your body. You cannot stop it from feeling something. As simple as that. Our desires are that basic. They get ruined by our upbringing where everything is “ewww”. If you believe that the first man and woman were Adam and Eve then we are all automatically brothers and sisters.

How can we go “ewww” in a society where Mallus marry their cousins. It is a very common practice. Hypocrisy, much? It is like people getting shocked that someone can kill their daughter. After all, our country is not really known for honour killing, rapes by family members and female infanticide. Are people really THAT blind or just pretending to be?

Rakhi brother = a guy a woman thinks is un-fuckable. She will never sleep with him even if they are the last people on this planet. Ok, fine, MAYBE, she will sleep with him if he is the last man on earth but not otherwise. So, men, don’t take it as a compliment when a woman ties you a rakhi. She just thinks you are un-fuckable.

Me (to KC) – You didn’t receive any Rakhis today?

KC- Nope

Me – Congratulations. There isn’t one woman on this planet who thinks you are un-fuckable

I also know women who ended up dating their Rakhi brother. It happened in college and initially there were lots of jokes of “din ko bhaiya, raat ko saiyaan” types but then people moved on and they went about their lives. Few weeks back we got to know of someone who got married to her “Rakhi brother”. KC’s reaction was “Ewww” while I don’t think it is a big deal. Happens. After all, a “Rakhi brother” is also someone you admire, are close to and even friends with. Why can’t you date him if you are attracted to him?

People- remove your heads from the gutter. Incest exists and it is not a big deal.

Happy Rakshabandhan. How are you celebrating it? Let me guess- by telling your daughter to tie a Rakhi on her brother’s wrist for his protection? Sounds perfect. That is what we need. Another generation of kids who grow up believing a woman needs a man’s protection. Perfect. Simply perfect.

Happy Brozone Day. It sucks to be a man on this day.



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