I have classified my fb “friends” into below

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  • People who post updates when they meet “friends” over the weekend to prove (with pics, of course), how “happening” their social life is. If the pic was not on fb, it didn’t happen. That’s the rule
  • People who update fb every minute of the day with shit nobody cares about. A tip- nobody gives a fuck what you ate… that is what instagram is for. Am including moiself in this category
    *ducks the brickbats*
  • NRI Gujjus living in US of A who know more about what’s happening in Gujarat (now that state includes India also because “Modi”) than Gujjus living in the state
  • The selfie brigade. Someone I know poses after his/her workout every morning and gets someone to click his pic and updates on fb. How? I am literally dead after my morning run and looking like a bhanghi (No offence to bhanghis… is that word politically incorrect these days?)
  • People who have become uglier and fatter from good looking and thin or ugly and fat
  • People who make money from fb, also called Social Media Marketing
  • Mumbaikers who talk about rains like it’s the best thing that happened to them. Right now, they are locked up in a house full of fungus with nowhere to go and nothing to do. I guess that does beat trying to navigate the dirty water on the open door trains to get to work. Oh wait, is that why they are happy because the alternative is so much worse? Now, I get it.
  • NRIs living in non USA countries (kya, there are countries apart from USA!!!) who have an opinion about what’s happening in India because????? I don’t know why. It’s like me having updates or even caring about what’s happening in A’bad even though I live in Haryana
  • Ex colleagues am too lazy to call… and so… fb
  • People who think babies are cute (THEY ARE NOT)
  • People who wish spouses on b’days and anniversary on fb because it is too much trouble to look at each other’s ugly faces and pretend to care
  • People I like…. thankfully, they don’t fall into any of the above categories.. mostly… I can think of 1 or 2 exceptions
  • My “real friends”

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