How to operate a lift

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A special guide for NCRites and everyone else too.

I get it. It is a difficult skill. And yet there are no universities like Lovelies… IIN… IIPM to teach it or special courses which we can bunk to learn this or even professors who take their payment in gold to help us.

Not to worry. I donned the Superman tee I bought super cheap at Sarojini Nagar and decided to save the world.

*Inside story. I bought the tee for KC but misjudged the size. Yes, I don’t know what size my pati parmeshwar wears or his favourite colour or his favourite cricketer. Anyway, the tee is now mine. And yesterday we wore matching Superman tees in public. How cool are we!!! True love, I tell you. This is true love*

*Love plug ends*

**I am trying to make this blog family friendly and will try and be nauseatingly nice from now onwards**

Step 1) Approach the lift

Step 2) Stand next to it. Do not stand right in front of it. Do not press any buttons at this stage

Step 3) Press the button with up arrow if you want to go up. Press the button with down arrow if you want to go down. If there is only button, press it once. PRESS IT ONLY ONCE AND THEN WAIT PATIENTLY.

Step 4) When the lift reaches you, let the people move out first.

Step 5) Then if the lift is going up, if you want to go up.. enter inside. And Vice versa. If the lift is going up while you want to go down – WAIT PATIENTLY FOR IT TO COME BACK DOWN. The arrow on top of the lift will tell you where it is going – up or down. If the up arrow lights up, it is going up and vice versa. This is a very important step and slightly complicated. I understand if you need a little practice to figure it out. After all, not everyone is born intelligent. Being stupid is nothing to be ashamed of.

Step 6) Now that you are inside the lift, wait for for your floor. Do not play loud music on phone speakers or talk on the phone loudly or make loud conversations. It is bad enough normal, intelligent people have to be around morons like you who need to read this blog to learn to operate a lift. Don’t make it harder for people to not kill you.

Step 7) When you reach your floor, walk out.

There… you are done. Practice and you will be a pro at this in no time.

Also… please pass on the knowledge. There are many unfortunate people out there who have NO IDEA how to do this. Let’s spread the word. Share it with everyone. You never know who needs it.

You guessed it right… I have nothing to write about but don’t want my fans to miss me.


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