Hello… From the sunken place

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Hello. It has been a while. But I have been trying to make time for important things in life and atleast one ball was going to be dropped. It was this blog. There has been no time to write. Or maybe there has but I have procrastinated. There is so much discipline required these days. More so than yester years. We didn’t have a device with a million entertainment options earlier and finding time for 1-2 hobbies was easy. In fact, there was abundance of time and less activities to fill it up with.

Like, in my initial years in Mumbai I would spend the weekend taking care of the household chores and hanging out at the mall. I didn’t strive for more. I didn’t even know if the city had more to offer. Now trying to find a middle ground between a relaxing weekend and an activity which broadens your horizons makes me hyperventilate. Folding laundry while watching Netflix or reading is how I find balance. What Netflix and “chill” means when you are 35.

A new job is always stressful. Specially when you spent 5 years in the previous one. From everyone knowing you and always having someone to talk to, to eating lunch alone is an adjustment. And the higher you move, the lonelier it gets. People at a higher level eat lunch at their desks which is quite sad, if you ask me. One of the best people I reported to, wouldn’t join us for casual team outings. Because he liked to reach home on time and he wanted us to bond without the awarkednes of having a boss around. Very few seniors are that confident and secure in their positions.

Yesterday I was working on the incentive plan for my team. My manager kept throwing ideas at me. In that moment, I thought “this is why I quit and joined a new job”. So I could learn something new. You can either be groomed for the next level and get promoted when the organization considers you fit for the next level. Or you can quit, take the plunge and hope you will learn the ropes as soon as possible. The former is the ideal situation but rarely happens. Organizations and people are so insecure they don’t build talent or skills.

Everyday I go to work and tell myself that though things are less than ideal, if I want to continue the upward career graph, dealing with different kind of situations, people, work cultures etc is important. I will either succeed or fail. The former will make me overconfident about my skills and the latter will make me humble.

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