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Hiya. I am lying in bed with exhaustion even though all I want to do is go the gym or to the mall or just outdoors.

Today was my 18 km run- the longest and last run before Airtel Delhi Half Marathon (on 23rd November). I had planned it 1 month earlier and for the entire week all I could think about was 18 km. The maid and cook were given an off because KC is not home and I needed to start running at 6/6.30 am. There is so much permutation/combination and planning required. Should I run on Saturday or Sunday?

Running on Saturday means I have to skip TRX on Friday (my fav class at Fitness First) because I don’t want to be sore the next morning. But it gives me 2 days of rest and I can workout on Sunday.

Running on Sunday means no workout on Saturday except yoga. And I get only 1 day of rest but will definitely be sore on Monday making it more challenging to go to work.

I have decided to run on Saturday mornings now.

This is the plan for the next few weeks:

– Next week : Workout for 2 hours everyday… 4-5 km run every morning… strength training every evening. Short (around 8-10 km) run at Lodhi Gardens on Saturday morning. Yep… I will drive for an hour… run… have b’fast at AAD… drive back.

– The week after that : Same schedule as above but no long runs on the weekend

– The week after that (before ADHM) : No strength training… just yoga/pilates and cardio. I don’t want to be sore at all for the half marathon so will skip weights for a week.

– The week after ADHM : Rest for 2 days… no running for atleast a week… workout for only 1 hour per day Wednesday onwards

– The week after that : Back to the hectic workout schedule and train for Standard Chartered Half Marathon in Mumbai on 18th Jan

I have been in a zone this week… have mostly eaten clean since I am detoxing from all the junk food at Goa. Anytime not spent in office or asleep has been in the gym or running…. 80% of former and only 20% of the latter. I plan to continue this atleast till ADHM. No socializing also because when you meet people you have to go to restaurants and then you end up over eating or eating stuff you are not supposed. And not all restaurants have healthy options… atleast not as healthy as when you eat at home. Little extreme? Maybe. But its worth it. KC and I have also decided to maybe cook newer dishes at home instead of eating out so often. Lets see how it works out.

On Thursday I attended Aditi Mittal’s stand up comedy show at Manhattan. It was titled ‘Things they wouldn’t let me say’. The host was Atul Khatri who was mainly a filler while Aditi changed clothes between sections. I had no plans to attend it but then this happened:

Aditi was asking random questions about Chris Nolan and giving away free passes to her show on twitter. Now, I did not believe for a second that the contest was real but I was bored and the answers just popped into my head.

Q: Nolan ki shaadi pe baratiyon ka swaagat kis cheez se kiya jayega

Me : Cant believe am replying but cannot resist. Pan Parag… pan masala… pan parag

Q: When Nolan refers to his “Dark Knight” during the suhaag raat should you head towards the T.V or the bedroom?

Me : The potty? Someone make me stop… aargh!!!

Q :  If Nolan came to your house to do mooh dikhai, what fried savoury snack would your mother serve him?

Me : Nothing savoury, only sweet. Muh toh mitha karna hai na

Q: Christopher Nolan will be attending IIT Bombay’s Cultural Festival . How many of you believed that shit?

Me : Dark Knight was a shit movie. They should have invited Anurag Kashyap instead.

Q: Jo Nolan se kare pyaar, woh _______ se kaise kare inkaar. Fill in the blanks with a Nolan movie

Me : Sigh. Prestige. Is he paying u to educate people about him? (‘Coz I googled that answer)

Q: If Nolan was in Bigg Boss 8, would he hook up with Upen Patel or Karishma Tanna or Salman Khan?

Me : Minissha Lamba? She’s the only one I know. Or maybe the gay guy? Is Nolan straight or gay? Salman is toh a virgin na.

I didn’t believe it at first. She is a stand up comedian… she gets paid to take people’s case. But when I received a DM and then a call from Laugh Club Delhi/Manhattan I realized they were seriously giving me 2 passes for her show. When I met Aditi at the show I told her I am surprised they gave me passes worth Rs 1000 for that nonsense.

I had watched Aditi’s show when I had been to Manhattan for the very first time. But we had reached late… our table was all the way in the back… and it was quite crowded. At that time I didn’t think she was THAT funny. But on Thursday, I realized am wrong. She is hilarious. The refreshing part about female comedians is that they talk about stuff, men cannot/will not. Stuff like… orgasms… bras… sanitary pads… stuff that is taboo in real life. Sure, we talk about it online… with females… with our hubby/bf. But try saying sanitary pads loudly at work and you know what I mean. Unless you are a working in a pads ka company.

For example, many weeks back I had put up a status on fb on menstruation. Some students/youngsters had interviewed me outside the grocery store. They were working on a project with a NGO to check women’s views on menstruation. It was stuff like… “Do you believe you should not go to the kitchen when you have periods? Can you go to the temple while menstruating? Can you touch the pickle?” You know… the usual dumb traditions women of my and previous generations have grown up with. The surprising part was none of the females even replied to the status but many men did. I can bet atleast 50% of the women on my fb account do not visit a temple during their periods. My mom does not let us enter the temple… not that I care. I am happy to get out of temple trips. But I remember my sister arguing about the logic behind it and mom did not have an answer (of course). My sister and I have grown up in convents and know more Christianity than Hinduism (atleast I do… not sure if she remembers any of it anymore) and Christians don’t believe this crap. They go to the church irrespective of this.

In a way, these women comedians are feminists. They are talking about issues and bringing a change in their own way. Even if 1 woman/man takes what she says seriously and thinks about these issues she would have done her charity for the year.

Next week .. Karunesh (writer of AIB)… Sahil Shah (the most hilarious comedian) and Daniel Fernandes (haven’t seen his show earlier… but he is super hot) are performing at Manhattan and I will be there. Though… without liqour or cold drinks or junk. It is so irritating when KC orders nachos at Manhattan. It is a complete test of my will power and I lose every single time. So… not going with anyone who is going to eat junk unless they give me a signed mentioning they will not eat junk when am around.

In other big news I finished reading ‘India After Gandhi’… Thanks, little bro (though not so little anymore… you still have to call and wish me a Happy Diwali) recommended this book on his blog. I picked it up and have been glued for weeks. It is 977 pages long though my kindle showed 15k pages but each page was engrossing. Even though I liked history in school I don’t pick up books related to history. Every Indian should read it. It has made me super proud to be an Indian. So what if we are a messed up lot… India was created with a lot of passion and noble intentions. We are the world’s largest democracy and THAT is something to be proud of.

Also… please follow me on twitter. My handle is boogerworm. Like I was telling KC- am super duper funny on twitter. Like, I read my own tweets and ROFL. I swear.

Next post… tomorrow… Strength training schedule. I promise to put it up tomorrow. Its been pending for long.


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