This week has been especially tough. I don’t know why. I look fine on the outside. In fact, I spent 2 nights hanging out with colleagues and feeling good about it. But this week has been the longest and I can’t wait for it to end. The temptation to while away time is very strong but I can’t afford to. There is always too much to do and I need to start catching up. One more month of honeymoon period before I will be expected to be on top of things.
Maybe I need a run. A long, exhausting one.
Maybe I need a hug, no sign of that in this city.
Maybe I need human conversation, but putting on a mask for conversation is too much effort.
Maybe I need to get out of the city, but I just got back.
Maybe I just need a fuck, uncomplicated but intimate.
People we live with are just distractions from ourselves. The voices inside our heads are not pleasant. People help silence them.