I was not rebelling in my anniversary wala post. I was not raging in that post.
*Why do people think I rage too much? Don’t you? Doesn’t life’s unfairness get to you? Doesn’t this fake society with it’s different rules for men and women ever get to you? Don’t you dislike your in laws? Oh wait, you just don’t like hearing all of this said aloud. Now I get it. Think about it, but don’t talk about it. Because if you think I rage too much, why are you even wasting your time here. Don’t you have a perfect life to live?*
I feel like… over the last 1 year people have started wearing their marriage as a badge of honour. They go out of their way to express their love for their partners on social media. It screams ‘insecurity’ to me. Now, now, we all put up shit about ourselves on facebook every single time… people like me do it several times a day. So, what is wrong with sharing your love? If we can share everything else… why not this? And then I see… women who put up those lovey dovey posts… get divorced… go off facebook out of shame (?)… and then update lovey dovey messages again as soon as they find a new partner. It just makes me wonder about how this person perceives herself. What kind of a person are you if you derive your self worth from having a partner. It is quite scary to me.
It always makes me wonder- how significant are 5-6 years of marriage. All the people I know who are divorced are divorced for a reason- someone married a psychopath, someone had misunderstandings which acerbated into family issues (this is the weakest reason of all) and someone had been facing issues for a long time now… so how is staying married for 5-6 years an achievement? In India, you need more reasons to walk out a marriage than to walk into one. What are we celebrating then? Why don’t we also celebrate our work anniversary? Like, I started slavery on 7th June 2007, why don’t I celebrate that as well. Because the fact is… I can live a happy life without a marriage… but definitely not without my job. Did you say money does not matter? How about trying it for a day? Spend one day without any money and then tell me how money is not equal to happiness. Having money in my account definitely reduces my stress levels making me more open to happiness.
Don’t get wrong. KC and I have been celebrating our anniversary and even Valentine’s every year. Our first Valentine’s was the most clichéd of all. We spent it at Taj Mahal…. not the hotel, the monument. None of my managers have ever refused me leave on Valentine’s. And we generally plan a trip on marriage anniversary… at the very least, a special dinner. It is a special day for us. We love each other and show it to EACH OTHER. I am not sure why it needs to be up on social media. How is it relevant if we have been together for 6 years. Are you saying being married for a longer time makes you a better couple? Are you saying that divorce rate drops as the years of marriage increase? I don’t have the statistics. But I know people change and differences crop in… and things can fall apart at anytime.
Someone mentioned yesterday how marriage is a lot of work. Sure, it is. But then… so is friendship… In fact, friendship needs more work than marriage. You can take your marriage for granted… but don’t make the mistake of taking your friends for granted.
I also feel like… the more open minded we are becoming in real life… the more close minded we are online. Specially on facebook. A place which should have been about exchange of ideas… cultures… thoughts… etc is now a place filled with marriage and baby stories. It is rare to come across people talking about anything else. That is also the reason so many people who don’t want to live the “regular” life are compelled to go off facebook. Instead of making them feel welcome… we are shutting them out.
So yeah… thanks for not wishing me a Happy Anniversary.
I also plan to block my wall on my birthday to keep the annoying and spam b’day wishes off my timeline. This is how I wish people:
– Best friends : Receive a call on their b’day. If I don’t remember their b’day, am grateful for facebook for the reminder
– 2nd level of friends : WhatsApp b’day wishes. I also remember who wished me on call and WhatsApp and make sure to wish them on theirs. Ok, fine… If you are not on my facebook list, I don’t think I will wish you but then you are scum of the earth and I don’t fucking care. Unless we are in touch and you are not on facebook
– People I know and like. I wish them on facebook. They maybe people I haven’t spoken to in a long time but I like them or maybe we got back in touch recently and I will make it a point to wish them. Or they are people whose phone numbers I don’t have because… we are not that close.
What I am saying is…. there is a strategy behind who I wish and HOW I wish on b’days. I don’t look at my sidebar and type out wishes to everyone. And I don’t like it when people do that to me. It’s not like your wishing or not wishing has any impact on my b’day or my life… right? I also hate it when friends who should call or at the very least WhatsApp take the lazy way out and wish you on facebook. The way I see it is… buzzing someone personally on call/sms/WhatsApp takes time and effort and if you like someone you will make that effort. And if you don’t, you are a douchebag who does not deserve my time.
And how many people respond to each facebook b’day wish individually? You just see a status the next day thanking everyone. They can’t do that on sms/WhatsApp. Each message has to be individually replied to… unless you are the biggest douchebag on this planet.
So.. yeah… next b’day (hint hint – June) you will have to contact me personally… because you won’t be able to take the lazy way out.