I came across Sucharita’s (major girl crush on her) tweet about her purchase of ‘Modern Romance’ by Azia Ansari and thought “Ugh. No. Another celeb who is going to write about his mediocre life and all his fans will lap it up”. But because I will jump in a well if Sucharita asks me to, I went ahead and spent money on the kindle version. The book took me by surprise. It is very, very interesting and talks about romance in today’s times. I don’t need to read about romance, thankfully. Everytime I have doubts about my marriage or get envious of single friends, I thank my stars that I never have to go out on a date again. KC and my worst dates even today are better than most dates I had as a single person. But this book made me think about how I interact with people around me specially in the digital world. It even inspired me to delete my WhatsApp for 24 hours (the initial plan was 7 days) but then I realized I couldn’t interact with 2 and more people at the same time or share pics/videos. And now am wondering why I need to use WhatsApp for official communication.
Just deleted WhatsApp on my official phone
Anyway, I am reading the book again and am going to talk about it on this blog as I read it. Ready?
Nobody in my life is that important and the important person knows how important prompt reply to WhatsApp or phone calls is. I have told him exactly what I expect and to be fair, he goes out of his way to return my calls.
But I cannot imagine how much turmoil this can cause for someone who is dating. “Why hasn’t he replied?” “I can see that he has read the message so why hasn’t he replied?”
Our imagination drives us completely mad. This is very different from the times I grew up in. If someone wanted to talk, they called you. If they didn’t want to talk, they didn’t call. Simple. You didn’t have to play any of these mind games.
I have been thinking about it and I realized why WhatsApp sucks- the conversation never ends. It can potentially go on for days or months and nobody actually exits the conversation. Someone just stops replying (which equals rejection) and that is how you know you should shut up now. And you can’t log off which is so damn weird. What if I don’t want anyone to contact me from 2-5 pm? I am always available. So is everyone else. Unlike all the other messenger apps, from which you can log out. And you only contact people on it if you have something to say.
This conversation with KC best signifies my dilemma. I didn’t tell him am deleting WhatsApp. I put it on fb but he missed the status among dozen others. So, he messaged a few times without getting a reply. Since we barely talked that day and he is not anal about calls and replies (like me), this is what happened:
I called to speak to him but he was in a meeting. Basically, we were having a conversation when he was busy with something else. And I realized this is what Whatsapp is- we are all busy doing something else. But not so busy that we can’t do another thing at the same time. So, we are neither here or there. Our fingers are in all the pies and we won’t enjoy even one. All of us are looking for something more fun and more interesting than what is there right in front of us.
Changes I plan to make in my life:
- Limit conversations on WhatsApp
- Call people instead of messaging. Already started this
- Don’t turn to WhatsApp when bored
- The person who is in front of me will get higher priority over the person on the phone. Unless he/she is calling
- Be part of groups I really want to. While the running group was useful for running plans, I haven’t joined them in a while and don’t plan to. I would just keep reading the 1000 messages everyday and waste my time.