Corporate assholes

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This post is about annoyances I have to deal with from non colleagues. There are many, many posts on annoying colleagues on this blog already.

1) People who promote their organization’s brand on their personal social media accounts.

You aren’t getting paid for it so why torture people who are connected to you on Facebook/IG/Twitter. That is what LinkedIn is for. Matlab, am not sure which is worse – anniversary/baby pics or ads of brands. If it was your brand, I understand why you would want to promote it so hard. But, such loyalty for an organization which treats employees like they are dispensable?

2) People who call you for competition/confidential information

This group is classified into two – those who want to gain an understanding of the category/competition/financials to help them do their job better. This is perfectly ok and am always, always available for such conversations even for acquaintances and strangers.

The 2nd class of people want this information to earn brownie points in some presentation to their organization. Which is a surprise because nobody has ever asked me to source competition information to enhance my PPT or have I been penalized for not having such information. Basically, these are people willing to put your job at stake for their careers. I am perfectly ok with giving up such friendships for my roti, kapda and makaan. Now my standard answer is “I don’t know” which isn’t completely a lie because in sales, we don’t really know much. Ignorance is bliss and I never want to give it up.

3) People who call you after 8 pm to talk about their work life.

List of things am probably doing – reading, sexting, shagging, Netflix/Amazon Prime/Hotstar, adding pretty stuff to Myntra/Ajio wishlist (and never buying it), counting my Bath and Body works candles stash, working out, stalking Rahul Khanna on IG, laundry, counting the Lindt stash in my fridge.

Your boring corporate career has lesser priority than staring at my ceiling. Nobody cares about how hard you work or the long hours you spend in corporate chutiyaap.

I am never going to be that bored in life that I will call and talk to someone about my worklife. Hell, I barely ever call and bother to keep track of gossip at workplace. Ignorance is bliss.

4) People who don’t move on once they quit an organization.

I follow a simple rule – cut off from previous organization till you are completely over it. It is like how you would deal with a breakup. Get under someone else, move on, break off contact till you are sure you have moved on. So, no phone calls gossiping about ex colleagues, avoid meeting up with anyone except those who are friends and just MOVE ON.

Rant over

Goes back to staring at the ceiling in the silence

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