In the 3rd year of our marriage, and the first year that we started living together, KC and I took a trip to Leh Ladakh with his friends and their spouses. It was a traumatic trip (worst one till date) and a turning point in our relationship. It is so significant that we don’t talk about it, like all the other significant things in a marriage.
It was also my first trip in a group and until then I hadn’t realized am not a group person because I have only been in smaller groups of 2-3, never more. I won’t get into what happened on that trip but I couldn’t connect or gel with anyone. Which is weird because I have met all of these people individually or with their spouses since then and like all of them. Since that trip, I have felt like a bad, anti social person. The book ‘Introvert Power’ is making me aware that am not a fault, the expectations of the people around me is the problem. Don’t force me into uncomfortable situations and am awesome company but put me in a group and watch me withdraw, become mum and ‘anti social’.
Of course, things have changed since then. This is the conversation we had last night.
Him – So, I will go for a party at A’s house on Friday night at 10/10.30 pm after dinner with you
Me – It’s ok if you want to go earlier. I can catch up with someone over dinner or just stay home. You can go ahead
Him – No. No. I want to have dinner with you.
Me – Ok. I can come along if you want
Him – Rehne do. All these posts about introversion are getting to me. Though my friends were saying they want to meet you.
Me – I can come for an hour but I won’t drink or eat junk and want to sleep by 10/10.30 am because of early morning run.
Him – Sure, no problem. I will drop you home by 10 pm and then go back to the party.
Me – It’s ok. I can drive myself back. You should take an Uber back since you will drink
Him – Arre, S and I will come to drop you back for your safety
Me- I am fitter than both of you put together. I don’t need your protection.
I guess some kind of balance and understanding has been reached. But mostly, am at peace with myself. So NOT a group person.