There is a new resolution – no more discussing work after work hours. I tried it today. Everytime I wanted to tell KC what happened at work or how my day was, I distracted myself with something. Distraction isn’t hard right now. A job is just a means to earn money to fund a lifestyle and hobbies. Because we are a privileged lot. Sure, I give it my all during working hours but am not paid for thinking about work after hours. Invest in people but selling candies (or shampoos or other such useless things) can be taken seriously only upto a certain point. But here I go… talking about work again.
I tried journaling last night and it is so hard. Why do we document the dark and unhappy thoughts only? It just makes me morose. Who the hell wants to know what is festering underneath the scab? The only way to lead a happy life is by pretending to be happy. Denial is better therapy than digging deep. The more you scratch the wound, the longer it takes to heal. Leave it alone and viola, one fine day you realise it has disappeared. Maybe leaving a battle scar here and there.
Blogging, on the other hand, is tricky. There is an audience and you have to balance how much you want to reveal against how much you want to hide. You can never be completely honest. Does 100% honesty even exist? I guess it is a mask that we put on. Some parts of the face are visible and others hidden. But you will never get a complete picture. Every blogpost is a new mask which distorts the perception created by the previous one.
Blogging requires more skill than journaling. The question is where do I write and express better? In a journal where I have to confront myself or on a blog writing about trivial things in denial of the real issues?