Big boobs…. Small boobs…. Boobs… Boobs… Boobs

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I am not trying to rebel against the porn ban by the government with this post. Not yet, anyway. Anyone else with the secret wish of being a porn writer someday? No? Just me? My biggest issue is whether I should stay anonymous or let the world know who I am. I keep evaluating the pros and cons of both over and over in my head but haven’t been able to decide. Now with the porn ban, this is a good time for porn literature.

Anyway…. this post is inspired from here. Em talks about being big boobed and how inconvenient it can be. Like a normal, small to medium boobed sized woman, I had no idea what big boobed women actually go through. That kind of sucks. It is bad enough we have an extra pair of body parts to take care of compared to men. Women have a whole strategy to deal with their boobs. When we dress up, our boobs get maximum attention and time… are they looking okay? Do I wear padded or unpadded bra? Can you see my nipples? Are the bra straps too tight? Are the bra straps showing? Do I need a backless/strapless/cleavage/thick padded bra? My bras are more expensive than the clothes I wear over them. They are the most tech savvy items I use on a daily basis….  and I use an ipod/iphone/windows phone apart from the usual home appliances.

Despite being small-medium sized only, am pretty secure about my boobs size. Ok, mostly secure. Ok, fine, KC uses that 10% insecurity to crack jokes and magnify it to 90% level. But overall, am happy with them. For the simple reason that I started out flat because I was skinny. I was -could have given any of the models a run for their money and to the point of looking malnourished -skinny. Boobs are made of fat and when there is no meat on the bones, there will be little or none in the bra. So, yeah… am happy with whatever I have. Also, engineering college was a huge boost to my self esteem. It does not matter what you look like, if you are a female, you will get male attention. I think all teenagers should try engineering college education for a year, feel good about themselves and then switch to a course they really want to do.

Here are some things I face- good or bad, as a small to medium boobed woman:

  • I never have to worry about cleavage showing. In India, you have to keep adjusting your top to ensure the cleavage does not show. Whenever the cleavage show is on display, it is strategic. So, I would be more comfortable with cleavage baring clothes in a mall but not at work or at a local market. Good news- I can wear low cut tops without looking slutty or like am trying to seduce a guy
  • I never have to worry about cleavage showing. It takes a whole lot of effort to get cleavage… by using the plunge/high padded/cleavage bras and sometimes even shapewear. Would you believe that I have gained the skill of getting my cleavage to show only recently? *adds that to CV*
  • When someone else wears the same sports bra and fills it out better. That is devastating. This happened in the TRX class few weeks back and that is all I could think about. I came home and whined to KC about it and was subjected to a few more boob jokes. Sigh. Why do men think cracking jokes about a problem is actually the solution? And if you don’t laugh along, you don’t have a sense of humour. But, am digressing here.
  • Fishing out popcorn/peanuts that fall into your cleavage is more difficult to find because big boobs will just hold them on top while with smaller boobs there is so much space to maneuver. *Please do not try this in public. Seriously. You need to be very discreet*
  • I can go bra free atleast at home and opening the door for some random guy (courier/delivery/dhobi/building sweeper/building guard) is not too much of an issue.
  • I can run with a sport bra and not have to worry about my boobs jiggling and getting everyone’s attention on the road. You can barely see them move and with a loose tee, not even that.
  • I don’t have to worry about sagging because the bigger the boobs, the faster they sag as you grow old.
  • I don’t have to worry about hugging guys and subjecting them to my boobs. You have to hug me really, really close and hard to feel them. So, you get a feel of my boob only if you are special.
  • It is amazing how all men are into big boobs- the bigger, the better. I haven’t come across one man who thinks small boobs are better. *If you exist and are reading this, please raise your hand*. How do women get big boobs? Genetics and weight gain. But the latter can trump the former. I can get really huge boobs if I gain considerable amount of weight and I will lose them if I lose weight. Simple. As for women with tiny waists and big boobs- it is either genetics or boob job. The former is beyond my control and one needs really low self esteem to go for the latter. Unless, she is making a career a in films/TV and then it is probably unavoidable.

*A middle finger to all the well endowed women who made me feel bad about my non existent boobs in school*

Who is better off now? Huh?

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