I have been in a dilemma due to a conversation I had the other day.
I had been preparing for the market visit of a senior manager in the organization… that explains the previous posts.
Anyway, on the day of the visit, we stopped for lunch. The manager is a new joinee and was asking details about me.
Him: So, who is in your family?
Me: Mom, dad, younger bro and elder sis
Him: Umm… so, your parents are in NCR?
Me: No… my husband is here
Him: Oh, you didn’t mention him when I asked about family. I wanted to know if you are married
I was zapped for a moment? Is my husband part of my family? I mean… sure, by Indian traditions he is. But isn’t family about “apna khoon”? As in, people of the same blood?
Don’t be scandalized. I love my husband… he is my best friend… we are great together… no matter how many disagreements. We fit together… like we have never fit with anyone else.
But, is he family? Just ‘coz he has been with me for 4 years now… can he supersede my parents?
Ok… he did… when I married him against my parents wishes. But still, family is mom, dad, bro and sis… thats how it has been always.
Like, my jeeju is extended family. He does not immediately come to mind when I talk about family.
And KC is different… he is my best friend. Family is those people from who you keep secrets and friends are those with who you share those secrets.
When I mentioned this to KC, he said; “Whenever I am asked about family, I do mention you. But knowing you, I know you have different view point on that. Thats just you”
Sigh!!! Does anyone else understand this? Or as Indian women (even men), are we brought to consider husbands automatically part of family.