A recent anonymous article detailing Aziz Ansari’s sexual misconduct is going viral. Everyone is debating furiously over it.
Here is a gist of what happened:
A female bumped into Aziz at a party while she was on a date with someone else. They exchanged numbers and met for a date. Aziz rushed through dinner and took her home where he kept pushing her for having sex with him. She obliged by giving him oral and trying to give hints that she didn’t want to have sex. He persisted. Finally, she managed to leave but ended up feeling shitty about the whole experience.
What Aziz did isn’t a crime. But it isn’t consent either. I have heard similar stories where a guy pushes too hard and a woman gives in because it is just easier to get it over with. It is just one blow job or just a fuck. Considering how often women have to keep their views to themselves, this is another time we’d rather shut up and conform instead of trying to explain to a man how it makes us feel shitty. Like, I went out on a date in college because the guy kept pushing for it. My logic was that if I spent 1 torturous hour with him he would leave me alone for 1-2 months. It was the worst date of my life but my companion had no clue. In such cases, the woman isn’t a human being. She is just an object and the man has a purpose. If the purpose is to fuck her, her hints will not even be visible to him.
If it isn’t an enthusiastic “Yes”, it is a No. If you have to plead, whine, beg for it and the woman gives in, it isn’t consent. It is a pity fuck.
This is a bad news for men because they have been getting away with it till now. I can narrate so many instances where I wasn’t an enthusiastic participant in the act and the guy didn’t care.
This article has opened up a Pandora’s box and am glad this is how 2018 has started. There are sexual misconducts which are crimes and there are those which aren’t. A rape is different from a sexual encounter which leaves you in tears. But they are both unacceptable.