A meeting that could have been an email

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On email:

A : We want X

B : Nope. Not giving X

A : Ok. We want Y

B : Chal, thik hai… Y le le

A : Aur, Z bhi chahiye

B : Falls off chair laughing

In a meeting.

Conference room is booked. Hours are spent making a presentation. A meeting before the meeting happens to decide who is going to say what and how do we say “No” without actually saying “No”

On the designated day, both parties sit across from each other. Water, tea, coffee and snacks are served. The junior most person in the room is responsible for ensuring the door remains closed and tea and snacks are served on time. Also, he/she will run around to get samples, escort people in and out of the conference room.

Team A : Presents for 1 hour, talks about how they are changing the world and can help team B with all their problems. Sales not growing? Not making profits? Employees playing truant? Wife not happy with sex? Kids sucking the happiness out of your life? Don’t worry. Team A has the magic wand to make everything ok again.

Team B : Clearly bored but do not want to seem like “assholes” by outrightly saying “No”. So they make conciliatory noises which mean nothing at all.

Team A : Does not give up. They have been doing this since they entered India and have the script by heart.

Team B : Uses the opportunity to serve cake and a pick of chaas/cold drinks/juices. Maybe they will all magically wake up on an island where they won’t have to discuss all this moh maaya.

Team A : Exhausts the script, finishes the food and drinks, takes the conciliatory noises and leaves.

Few months later.

A : We want X

B : Nope. Not giving X

A : Ok. We want Y

B : Chal, thik hai… Y le le

A : Aur, Z bhi chahiye

B : Falls off chair laughing

Meeting is arranged again for discussions.

 


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