On friends…

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Hiya people. It is 6 am and am wide awake with superb music playing. Ok… I am listening to songs of ‘London, Paris, New York’ but the songs are so damn good. Thanks Anita for recommending the movie. I liked it… it is a different kind of rom com.

Why am I awake?

– I slept at 9.30 pm because I was sooooo tired after 2 hours of workout

– I was supposed to go for a swim but am procrastinating… will go in the evening

– KC plays cricket every Sat morning and makes enough noise to wake me up

Sometimes I think he lives through his entire week just so he can play cricket on Saturdays. Considering how lazy he is, this is very unlike him. No matter what time he hits the bed on Friday night or how much he drinks… he is up at 5.30 am on Saturdays. Is this the same guy I have been trying to get into the gym or swimming or some kind of an outdoor activity? The positive fall out of this is he cribs less. He is a cribber and a pessimist. Monday mornings are the worst when he hates to go to work. Quite unlike me…. I have always liked my job and prefer to be at work on a weekday.

Few weeks back KC tried to convince me to take 3-4 days off after the 4 day Diwali break so we can sit at home and do nothing. My idea of nothing- catching up on reading… movies… going to the gym… running… swimming…. and his idea of nothing? Doing absolutely nothing. I told him to go ahead… I’d rather go to work.

The other day I was chatting with RT. Why did it take me sooo long to add her on WhatsApp? She is my best friend and shifted to the USA few months (or has it been a year) back. The advantages of WhatsApp are- you can talk anything and for hours. Conversation has a life of its own. I was in the gym when we started talking… I was telling her about my deepest, darkest thoughts and instead of telling me ; “WHAT? Thats horrible… get away from me” she was like ; “Thats not good… but its ok”. How cool is that?

And I wanted to dedicate a post to some friends who make my life interesting. None of the usual suspects will be featured here.

– 2 am friend. This is the person I can chat with during odd hours… and not just because he is not in India. He actually started this… would call me at some odd hour with a random thought. Its become a ‘thing’ now. Not a frequent thing but once in a blue moon thing making it more special. He is also someone who can cheer me up and make me feel great about myself. Not in the ‘you are such a good person’ way but ‘you are so pretty’ way. Which is so much better. C’mon? It IS better. And he is one person I can say ANYTHING to… like anything and there will not be any judging. In fact, I think he gets me. Really gets me. Or atleast pretends to. Which is the same thing 🙂

– Ex colleagues: As a general rule I stay away from friendships at the workplace. I just think there should be a line/fences when you work with someone. But its India… and when you spend a lot of time with people you automatically become close. In fact, I used to have a separate fb account only for colleagues. I had moved from Delhi to Mumbai and wanted to keep in touch with previous colleagues and fb was a good way to do so. Am not big on calling people. Yep… I have 2 phones but still find it a drag to make calls. Now I keep in touch with select ex colleagues… the ones I really, really like.

– Lurkers: There are friends (can I call them that anymore?) who read this blog silently… and mail me only when am down in the dumps or need help. Yes.. APC… am looking at you… who does not keep in touch (why is that) but definitely cares.

– People I don’t know that well but am in touch constantly through social media. I am constantly on social media these days- fb/twitter/instagram for the simple reason that I have time. And there are people I have re-connected with because of this. They are not people I would ever pick up the phone and talk to… ever. But cannot get through my day without atleast 1 comment/discussion/argument with them.

– Best friends who am not in touch with : Why are we not in touch? Distance… time… marriage. Sam was my best friend in school.. I was crazy about her. I dont think she felt this strongly about me ‘coz she had a ton of best friends who would wait in line for some time with her. Nope… she wasn’t a snob. Studies were very important to her and she preferred that over anything/anyone else. I grew up in times without internet/mobile phones… how did we survive? And keeping in touch was difficult. I mean.. I used to write letters to my friend in A’bad (I lived 75 km away) during school holidays. Honey… marriage has taken her away from me… actually, I don’t know that is the reason. She is not on social media… and does not answer her phone. Hell, her parents and sister are unable to contact her most of the times. The only way I can get hold of her is to land up at her door in Mumbai. But even that will depend on… does she still live in the same place? Will she be home? Is she is in Mumbai? But I am crazy in love with this girl and will be there whenever she needs me. She can treat me like a tissue, for all I care. Thats true love. And then there is M… who am seriously pissed off with for years now. I cannot be friends with someone who needs her husband’s approval to meet me. That’s where I draw the line.

And there comes the cook followed by the maid… breaking the nostalgic mood.

Friendship is not just about being there for someone… it is also about letting them be there for you. It is a mutual thing. It is about being there always and not only when it suits. More importantly, being there during the milestones.

Ciao… I have tons of clothes to wash… watch ‘The Office’… get dressed to meet my manager’s brand new son (only 1 week old)… lunch at Smoke House Deli, Vasant Kunj… and then back to workouts in the evening.

KC is going to Dubai for the long weekend with his friends. I learned in the 1st year of our marriage:

– If he is meeting his B school friends… he will not be home before 2/3 am… no matter what time he says. 1) His friends will never leave him earlier than that 2) He will not want to leave earlier than that. When he is with them, its like he is in a trance and not in control. So, no point in being pissed about it.

– He will drink… like I mentioned he is in a trance? He has no control.

– Don’t bother joining him and his friends even if am invited. I won’t enjoy it. Men are very different when with their buddies and the conversations are so damn superficial it can be a drag. What do we women do when we find out a close friend is unhappy? We cheer her/him up… talk to him/her… what do guys do? They laugh about it and crack the worst jokes. And if someone gets hurt… they get pissed with him for being sensitive.

He and his friends have started taking a trip together once a year which is so great. No matter which part of the world they are… they meet up once a year. Last year it was Goa and this year its Dubai.

RT- You, Appu and I should take a trip together. As soon as she is done with her ‘Teach for India’ thing. Of course, convincing her is your headache.

I am looking forward to the long weekend…. having the house all to myself. I had planned to take a trek at McLeodganj but decided to drop the idea once our Goa trip got finalized. Yep… annual Goa trip during Diwali. I will do that trek… maybe in Jan… or later.

Plans for long weekend:

– Watch Haider. Vishal Bharadwaj is a genius and he is the only one able to tap Shahid Kapoor’s talent

– Go for a run at Lodhi Gardens. Its an hour’s drive away but I will do it. How can I be in Delhi NCR and not run at Lodhi Gardens? Followed by b’fast at The All American Diner at India Habitat Centre

– Catch up with acquaintances… if they are in town

– Catch up on reading… this has greatly suffered due to the gym…

Bye now… for sure this time.

 

 


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