Last night was great. So was the night before that. I had a 2 hours conversation with someone I disliked immensely 10 years back. I thought this person was shallow, vain and superficial. This person thought I was brash, arrogant, rude. There were other things added to the mix and it was a disaster.
But life has changed, we have changed, we know people can be complicated, life can be dreary and we do what we can to survive. We envy people whose biggest problems in life are (more) money, status, perception. How simple are the battles that we wage outside vs those inside us. There are people who go through life never doubting or questioning themselves. There are people who are content with who they are. Their discontent is external. What an amazing life is that.
Many great conversations last only through that dinner or lunch. There isn’t enough depth in the connection for a next meeting. Sometimes, there is.
Sometimes, all night conversations (till 11 pm because we all have to hustle the next morning) last for more than one night. I have had quite a few of them in the last 1 year and am grateful.
Sometimes, the differences will crop up anyway.
Sometimes, you will lose touch and reconnect once a year through Diwali wishes.
Sometimes, there is a connection but not enough time to explore them because social media cannot bridge physical distance. WhatsApp cannot replace a face to face conversation.
But other times, it can. The luxury of replying at leisure depending your moods and making it easier to express deep and dark thoughts.
Sometimes, you have to call and speak to someone to confirm the person on the other end is who you think it is. It isn’t a prank. They sound so different and unlike what you know about them.
Sometimes the connection is felt both ways in equal measure. And that is rare. That deserves a post even if it is a one time thing.
Sometimes, losing a friend makes space for new people. Or maybe destiny works that way. You are supposed to connect with a finite set of people and when one person is dropped, another person will be provided so that you feel anchored at all times.
Let’s face it. We are all lonely and recognize it more than ever. It isn’t the loneliness of being alone in a city or a house. It is just the loneliness within. It is within us, at all moments. Our day is spent being distracted by a job, kids, partner, daily hustle to avoid the feeling. But at nights, lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, it refuses to go away. And if you aren’t exhausted from the gym, sleep will be miles away. You can turn and twist and wait for the morning to bring the diversions.