Things I learned today

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  1. I never ever want to reproduce and bring to this planet a progeny with my family’s genes. There is nothing good that will come out of it.
  2. I am not obsessed with reproduction because I don’t think am anyone special and hence, don’t expect to give birth to Einstein or a Nobel peace prize winner. At best, he/she will end up being a corporate rat and we can all agree there are too many of those already. I mean, if I could give birth to a dog or dolphin or tiger or something, I would do that. We need more animals over humans on this planet.
  3. You can know someone for years and years through work and not make a real connection. Till one day, you both end at the same workplace and living in the same building and realise how much you have in common.
  4. Nothing warms my heart than meeting another woman who does not give a fuck. Very few of those exist.
  5. “You are not going to desert me in the family WhatsApp group. Remember how all the mistakes I made in my life have made you the person you are today. You owe this to me. Nobody is leaving the family WhatsApp group. Not under my watch (admin)”; the new age emotional blackmail.
  6. I saw my sister getting bullied and manipulated by family members all her life. She was always softer, nicer and the compassionate one; like all elder siblings. That made me determined to never ever let anyone bully or manipulate me. No matter what. It taught me to put myself first over anyone else. Friends, parents, siblings, hubby, everyone. It protected me from hurt and pain, at home, in relationships and at work. But it has also made me selfish, unapproachable and impatient with bullshit.
  7. Today was a good day. Good food, good conversations, plans of more conversations, good run, good weather.
  8. My biggest support system are people I know through work. People who call me to rant on a bad workday. And people I call to rant about my workday. Right connections happen in the right situations. Timing is everything.
  9. Right now, I don’t regret any decisions I made in the recent past. I don’t think I would turn back time and change a bloody thing. That feeling is everything.
  10. Good music makes everything better. I should tell myself this everyday.

Tashkent Files

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Tashkent Files is a movie that was tanked by most critics but is still playing in some theatres in its 6th week. Quite an achievement. So when KC suggested we watch the movie in the theatre, I didn’t hesitate. The movie started with the credits and it has been directed and produced by Vivek Agnihotri, a rabid Right Wing Troll on Twitter who is also a filmmaker. Uh oh.

“Maybe, am biased. Maybe, I should watch it with an open mind. After all, Congress and BJP are two sides of the same coin. Ok, ok, that is not right. BJP is vile through and through and there is nothing good or right or positive about it.”

The movie is about India’s 2nd PM, Lal Bahadur Shastri’s death in mysterious circumstances. He is supposed to have died of a heart attack in Tashkent, the day after the war with Pakistan formally ended. Not everyone is convinced that the death was by heart attack since there are many unresolved questions surrounding it.

A very interesting topic and one which hasn’t been explored before. “The movie has to be good, after all the material is so good”, I naively thought.

The movie starts with a journalist, Raagini (Shweta Basu Prasad) who does not believe in ethics and is on thin ice with the editor for her article which turned out to be fake news. She has less than 10 days to come up with a scoop. An unknown caller gives her an insight into Lal Bahadur Shastri’s death and she decides to pursue the story. The news is big enough to make the current Home Minister (Naseeruddin Shah) insecure when his opposition (Mithun) declares a fast till LBS’s death is not investigated. A committee is formed whose members are a historian (Pallavi Joshi), a social worker (Mandira Bedi), an ex RAW agent (Prakash Belawadi), a retired judge, a youth politician, a few others (Pankaj Tripathi) and the journalist Raagini.

As all government formed committees go, this is a farce too except Raagini takes it seriously. Her perfectly straightened hair, nice dressing sense, perfectly kohl lined eyes take a beating as she delves deeper and deeper into the mystery. By the end of the movie, she has stopped combing her hair, her clothes haven’t been washed in weeks and there isn’t a speck of makeup on her. How do they let her move around in Delhi without any makeup on? Ugh, these Mumbaikers!!! They come to our city and refuse to follow the rules like hippies. No chappals in Khan Market, bright fuschia/deep red lipstick in all malls, hair that takes an hour to blow dry and clothes that are either from Sarojini or a high end mall, most times the former looking more fashionable than the latter. How difficult is it!!!

She also does this weird jogging across Rashtrapati Bhavan. Morning runners either run towards or away from RB, I haven’t seen anyone crossing it from left to right and nobody runs on the grass at India Gate. Mumbaikers!!!

Anyway, Raagini suddenly cares about LBS and his death and can’t believe nobody else seems to give a shit about another PM who died when in power. (I mean, the ones who really deserve to die are electioneering for a 2nd term. How unfair!!!) The last scene is when Vivek’s Right Wing conspiracy theory is all out and he isn’t even subtle about it. Congress got LBS killed because they wanted to come to power. There is no proof because all the characters in the movie are straight out of Twitter. He probably took his entire Twitter/fb timeline, the rabid comments from both sides of the debate and just pasted them here. No dialogue writer needed. After all, if Buzzfeed can do it, why can’t Vivek.

I left the theatre with tears rolling out of my eyes. I couldn’t stop laughing all the way home in the cab. I thanked KC for picking this comedy movie over the play I was suggesting. It has been a while since I laughed like a hyena. All thanks to a Right Wing Troll. I should start following some of them on Twitter too.

Please go watch it if you are having a bad day. Then take note of all the people sitting around you because this is what Right Wingers without a brain cell look like.

I have(n’t) stopped blogging

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I have stopped blogging.

On some days it feels like a transition to adulthood when you lose the best parts of yourself to become someone society approves of.

On other days, the void is too large to fill.

Sometimes I asked myself, who cares, who is even reading the blog, does its existence even matter. I could just delete years and years of writing in a few clicks and end the guilt.

But, someone DOES care. I care. Something about putting thoughts into words is cathartic. Something about its disappearance would feel like the death of a parent.

(I don’t know what the death of a parent feels like but I do know what the absence of parents from your life feels like).

Lately, the journey of life feels futile. Ok, ok, it always felt futile but now there seems to be absolutely no meaning to it at all. What I have realised is that it is ok to pause for a bit, block other people’s judgement and opinions from my head and do what FEELS right instead of doing what is supposed to be politically correct.

In the movie, Dear Zindagi, SRK’s character tells Alia’s character that just because the journey seems harder does not mean it is the only way to do it. It is ok to take the easy way out. It is ok to take a longer route to get somewhere. And it is ok to take the time to become the person you are supposed to be when you reach the destination. The destination is not the end, there is more. And am I prepared for what comes next?

By the way, all of the above does have a context.

Let’s talk about something fun. How many people are still liking Game of Thrones? If you didn’t raise your hand, please unfollow. I am so tired of all the criticism thrown its way. It is a TV show. It is fantasy. When have the dots ever connected that you expect them to do so now? The books are massive with so much detailing and so many storylines that the show could compete with Kabhi Saas bhi bahu thi. Bringing everything together is going to feel rushed. Just chill and enjoy it.