Mann’s evil cookies

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I am not a big cookies fan. Like, cookies aren’t a food item you could bribe me with. I don’t even walk down the biscuits aisle in a store. On Sunday, Mann handed me a birthday gift – blue cheese cookies “inspired” from Nigella Lawson’s book that I gifted her. This was O Henry’s ‘The Gift of Magi’ in reverse.

(Mann modified the recipe because that is what an expert baker she is now).

I looked at the box of the cookies and gleefully told her am off sugar, while pouring extra condensed milk into my cold brew coffee at Perch. She rolled her eyes, made a snappy comment about the amount of sugar in condensed milk and told me the cookies are made of blue cheese. “Meh”, I thought. They are just cookies.

I came home and bit into one out of politeness and all the happy memories of my childhood came flashing by. I like cheese. I really, really like cheese. The best breakfast buffets are one which serve different kinds of cheese. I would hoard Amul cheese cubes as a kid and eat them over the course of days and weeks. That is how (pesudo) Gujju I am. The cookies touched a raw pulse and I realised I had to ration them out and test my adult will power. They were too many to binge eat in one day and could end up ruining my daily nutrition for days together.

2 nights back I asked KC to bring me 1 cookie. “Bring only 1 cookie. Not more. Just one. I don’t trust myself around the box. The box is quite pretty too, which means I have to return it”. KC brought the whole box to me and I binged on 3 of them. The box had to be physically pushed away to resist them. Normally, I can eat a bite of something delicious and not be tempted by more. I am all for eating whatever you want in small portions. But there is something very evil about these cookies. They are like the apple Eve ate. The first bite is all it takes to ruin your life. As long as I can resist that first bite, I am good.

So far, it has been 48 hours since I was tempted to consume the cookie. If I get to the weekend with similar control, I shall be allowed to treat myself to one cookie. Of course, someone will have to physically restrain me from consuming the 2nd and the 3rd. I am not even ashamed to admit that I could possibly eat them till I puke.

I am afraid to shag these days because the only porn in my mind will be these cookies. Are there any cookies de-addiction centres? Please share contacts.

All this drama for a box of cookies. Everyday am surprised when I come home and my partner hasn’t packed his bags and moved out of the house and my life.