Sunday night musings

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Two years back when I joined work in Mumbai, I was responsible for the sales and distribution in 2 states in the Western part of the country. One of them had been a big challenge for a year and the team was struggling when I joined. I remember telling them “You aren’t in the driver’s seat. You need to step back, define the goals and the path to get there”. 6 months later, in January last year, my team from another state and I spent 2 days in our hotel’s coffee shop, worked out goal posts and how to get there. The team in another state replicated the same. The plans didn’t materialise because the goals changed and the path to get there was handed down to us. But it did put us in the driver’s seat and we knew where we were going.

The exact same advice was given by a senior colleague last week.

Him – Are you in the driver’s seat?

Me – No. Am not. Am surviving from one day to the next.

Him – Do you have your 30-60-90 days plan?

Me – I have a vague idea but nothing concrete

Him – Well, what are you waiting for?

It has been 1.5 months since I moved back. It is time to step back, define the goals and the path to meet them; at work and in life. Life should be lived in batches of 6 months. Live like you are going to die in 6 months.

I guess am never going to make a good financial advisor

Ok, maybe not that dramatic. I mean, if I had 6 months to live, I wouldn’t spend it selling candies.

Maybe, I would lock myself in a room and write a book.

Or

Spend all day baking and selling it through social media.

Or

Use my TRX trainer certification to make people fit.

Or

I would do the rounds of open Mics to put my sarcasm to better use.

Or

I would give women classes on shagging.

But, I digress. Tomorrow is Monday and I want to get out of bed so I should put a stop to the rambling.

In the long run, people only hit what they aim at“.

But hitting the goals you set is infinitely better than not having goals and not knowing why you are somewhere or worse, having goals but no idea how to get there and wasting time in numerous U turns.

In short, it is time to step back and put my life in order. Even if it means going awol for a whole day. Like KC put it succinctly; “you are taking the day off from work… to work”.

“That is crazy”.

But normal in the corporate world means being a pot bellied 40 year old male who wakes up every morning hoping people don’t find out he is a fraud.

I am never going to be that person.

If I wake up as a man, please shoot me in the head.

If I wake up at 40 with a pot belly, please shoot me in the head.

The fraud part is ok because deep down, we are frauds. And we know it.

And that is my motivational post to get you through Monday.

Or to shoot yourself in the head.

Disclaimer : This isn’t a post encouraging or ridiculing suicide or depression. Please do not send me mails from fake email addresses describing how someone you know killed themselves.

If my sense of humour is too dark for you, please click on “unfollow” or “block” and stop reading the blog. Thank you. 

 

 


People who offer you a drink 

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Real life conversation

Him – Let’s meet over beer

Me – I don’t want to drink

Him – Oh c’mon. It is just a beer. And I really want to drink 

Me – So drink 

Him – But I don’t want to drink alone

Me – Then don’t drink

Him – But I want to drink

Me – Toh drink 

Him – But I don’t want to drink alone 

Me – If I order a drink it means the conversation is terrible and I want to shoot my brains

The meeting never happened and I stay up at night wondering why. 

I had hoped that once I crossed 30 years of age there would be no pressure to pretend to be cool and I could lead my supremely boring life without judgement. But alas, that is not to be. From trying to keep me up beyond 10 pm, making me skip my workouts, trying to force liquor down my throat and smoke up my nostrils; I have to deal with worse peer pressure than I did in school. 

This rant isn’t about people who drink and smoke (up). Everyone has the right to make terrible choices without judgement. This rant is about people who force others to join them in their drinking and smoking up. 

Like everything in my life, if I want to do something, I do it and don’t go looking for company. Isn’t that what marriage is for? So we have someone for company? When I can’t emotionally blackmail my partner into joining me, I go and watch that play anyway. 

Life is too short to deal with flakiness. 

When I want to drink, I open a bottle of cheap port wine, pour it into my Shrek mug, post a pic on IG and drink. Drinking is as much a social activity as watching a play is. Which means it isn’t. You need ears, eyes, brains and money to enjoy a play. How is another human warming the seat next to yours going to add to your experience? Ditto for drinking. 

If I really want to stuff my body with poison, it is always going to be with excessive biryani (hashtag biryanifan, nevertoomuchbiryani, madeof80%biryani). 

Sure, I could just lie and say I quit drinking but I have care about people to lie to them. And then I will never be able post a pic of my debauchaery on social media. 

The whole objective of my life is that by the time I turn 40 yrs, I never have to meet another human being. So people who want company to drink are a major inconvenience. 

I know life is pathetic, I don’t need liquor to deal with this fact. And I only hang out with interesting people so I don’t need liquor to dull my senses and heighten the pleasure. 

If you want to hang out over a drink, what you are saying is “I can’t deal with your bullshit without a high”.


Quickie

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Sorry, I haven’t had time to write. I wanted to but the exhaustion from early morning flights, chutiyaap work days followed by workouts and socialising was too much even for me.

The thought of how hectic next week is going to be makes me want to curl up in bed and never leave. I spent better quality and quantity of time in Gurgaon when I was travelling from Mumbai. There is so much work that I can’t imagine taking even one day off. Limiting work hours to the defined 4 hours on Saturdays is also a challenge. Not that being cooped up at home with MIL is very appealing either.

Thankfully, an early morning flight is restricted to only tomorrow so that is some relief.

Anyway, am going to turn in since I have a 4 am wake up call.

Here are posts that I must, must find time to type out:

  • The Wedding Part 2
  • Macro managers vs micro managers
  • A rant against people who only want to make drinking plans with you even though they know you don’t like liquor

 


100 days of running

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This running event is quite simple. All you have to do is run everyday for 100 days with a 2 km minimum distance. It has to be a run or run/walk, only walking isn’t valid. The runs are logged into a website. Runners across the country participate in this event, it is free of cost, there is an inaugural run on the first day of the event in major cities. This year the event started on 28th April, Saturday.

I know three runners, personally or on social media, who have run on all 100 days. It led to an immense improvement in their run timings, mileage and fitness levels. Unlike other events which focus on long distance running, this event teaches you to be consistent.

I haven’t been able to get halfway and this year too, I already know what days it won’t be possible to run. So, what is the option? Not participate? This month I have run only 26 km on 6 days. Running even 15 days and 30 km+ will be an stark improvement.

Why strive for the impossible?

The definition for success can be different for each person.

“Don’t recognise failure”

—- Naagesh Kukunoor, in the movie Rockford