From darkness to sunlight

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Last year this time was one of my lowest moments in a long time for many, many reasons. I didn’t mention it on the blog because when you are living a nightmare, the last thing you want to do is talk about it. Any distraction was most welcome then.

It would be unfair if I didn’t mention the upward swing in my life. I have spent a lot of time ranting about so many things. It would be ungrateful on my part if I didn’t acknowledge the good things that have happened or are happening.

It is amazing how we are aware of our sadness but happiness goes mostly unnoticed.

Don’t get me wrong. My shift to Gurgaon has very little to do with this change in my demeanour. Last year I was at the point of quitting. I had the choice of giving up and becoming complacent or fighting back. I chose the latter. My ego and pride were not happy.

Everytime I feel a connection with someone I have to remind myself that this person may or may not be in my life a year later. Relationships have to be nurtured. It amazes me how beautiful a relationship can potentially become in 8-10 years. When you first meet a person you can’t imagine how much value they can add to your life. How little steps taken in the right direction can create a lifelong bond.

Most people are selfish and afraid. They are so scared of getting hurt, they won’t take a chance on another person. They are so afraid they assign motives to everyone’s actions. It is exhausting dealing with such self involved people. Sometimes I want to yell at them, “Nobody cares. Seriously, nobody does. You aren’t important enough for me to hurt you”.

Then you come across someone who holds his heart in his hand and gives it to you. “Do what you want with it”, he says. If you are careful with it, it will be the best thing that happens to you. If not, well, it is your loss entirely. Who wouldn’t want unconditional trust in their life?

I may sound like am rambling. Maybe I am. But the person am writing this for knows what I mean.

Cheers to good conversations. You never know which good conversation or connection will last you till what stage in life. I always, always seek out good comversations. With strangers, acquaintances and friends. Whether it is with my ex’s ex or a random stranger on social media. You never know where it will lead.

Cheers to little things we can and should do to make someone feel special. Friends, acquaintances, strangers. What is life if not for the little, thoughtful things we can do.

Cheers to being made to feel special. Especially when deep down you feel like a crappy person.

Cheers to people who take a chance on others. Even when they’ve been hurt and betrayed, they wear their heart on a sleeve.

Cheers to being open to new people, their lives and their experiences.

Cheers to new chances and some goodbyes.

To new beginnings.

To some endings.

To the shutting of a few doors.

To the opening of new ones.