Digging out some gems from my oldest and the first blog:
– Posted on 17th December 2006. Its 2014 and its still true. Hate to party. And I don’t drink coffee… but hot chocolate is a big turn on.
Sometimes you are there and you wish you were not… and if you had to be there, you should be with someone else.
Some people like to party, I dont. After a tiring day, I prefer good conversation. A cup of coffee and a good conversation is the biggest turn on… no wonder it is so hard to find (the conversation, not the coffee). I like partying but only with my close friends… people I can really, really be myself with.
– Posted on 11th Decemeber 2006. Well… you just know.
I have been wondering how does one know about the “right person”???
We want it all: passion, jokes, understanding, love, looks, sparks, maturity.
Is it possible to get it all? What if we have to compromise on one or more of them? Which one would you compromise on?
I thought I could compromise on understanding… it didnt work…
I thought I could compromise on passion… again, it didnt work.
And now I am confused…
While one part of me enjoys the sense of humor, another part is observing how unemotional he is.
While one part knows he is one person who will be around always, another part is wondering how long my interest in him will last.
While one part is flattered by his attention, another part is noticing how self-centred he is…
– Posted on 9th June 2006. This one is very funny… thankfully, not true anymore.
I have spent 7 important years of my life in an all-girls convent boarding school. Since there were no men to dominate and belittle us, we did as we pleased. I wasn’t expected to dress like a girl or walk like one or talk like one. I did as I pleased (that’s why I am so stubborn and bone-headed). Most of these years were spent in uniforms… we had school uniform, games uniform, walk uniform, office bearer’s uniform. So, I have never dressed like a girl.
When I joined engineering, this is how it went.
Me: hey, nice tee shirt.
Friend: thanks. See that red blotch?
Me: yeah, looks kinda cool. Where did u buy the tee?
Friend: hehehehe. That’s a ketchup stain. Hey, nice jeans.
Me: thanks; I have been living in them for the past week… literally.
Friend (impressed): wow. I love your dressing sense.
This is a typical scene when I went home.
Me: mom, where are my clothes?
Mom: what clothes?
Me: my jeans. The ones I wore yesterday.
Mom: I have thrown them for wash.
Me (horrified): wash? But they are jeans. You’ll spoil them by washing them.
Mom: but they were dirty and they were all sorts of stains on them.
Me (in tears): mom, it took me 6 months to get those stains on them. You have ruined them.
I had a relative visiting me when I was in engg.
Me: hi. Have you seen the stinking pile of clothes I left on the bed? I was hoping to wash them today… I am tired of locking the room to prevent the smell from spreading.
Masi: oh, is that what the smell is? I thought it was a dead lizard.
Me: oh, the dead lizard. I disposed it in the neighbor’s backyard as a revenge for the dirty looks she gives me every time my guy friends visit.
Masi: umm, I thought the clothes needed ironing. So, I ironed them and put them in the cupboard.
Me (hating the nosy and helpful female): umm, well… thanks. But I never iron my clothes, it doesn’t go with the image and there is no point in stacking them in the cupboard… eventually I have to remove them. I might as well leave them outside, it is more convenient.
– Posted on 22nd August 2006. Still true… except now I don’t even believe in so called ‘God’.
I have been wandering around the blogosphere. It is a nice place. I get to know various people.. their feelings, aspirations etc without being friends with them or telling them anything about myself. Everyone at one point of time or other dicusses religion. With religion, it is like… you can love it or hate it; but you cannot ignore it.
My first stint with religion was when I joined Sophia. It is a convent boarding school. We prayed all the time… before b’fast, before school, after school, before lunch, before evening studies, after evening studies, before going out for walks (so that no harm would befall us on the way), before going to bed…. I dont feel guilty about not praying anymore… I have reached my quota for this lifetime. I didnt understand the prayers… they came to me mechanically… they still do.
When I left school, I was staying with my parents (at home). They are staunch Hindus. They wanted me to pray everyday and chant “Om” like they do. Now I am a very flexible person but I dont like to be forced into anything. So, I rebelled (I was a teenager then… it came naturally to me).
I stopped praying after that… because I wanted the freedom to pray the way I was comfortable with.
That does not mean I dont believe in God. I do… but I dont believe in idols. I believe in the Supreme power… a power which guides us, which has a plan for us.
But “God only helps those who help themselves”.
If I dont take any steps towards my destiny, it’ll never be fulfilled. This prevents me from being complacent.
Sometimes I can feel that power in music, in poetry, in people, in nature.
Another amazing thing is how there is a plan for each one of us. Everything happens with good reason. Like, there is a reason I came to TAPMI… I realised it after a year… after I noticed the changes me… in my life.
We meet people and drift apart… Everyone in our life is there for a reason, a purpose. They leave once their purpose is fulfilled.
– Posted on 11th August 2006. Yep… I used to write poetry. Why did I stop writing poetry? Well… its difficult to write poems about sales… try it, I dare ya.
– Posted on 26th September 2006. If I could only tell the 23 year old me that there is no reason to be afraid. Life will work out fine and there will be work life balance… always.
I just received the news that my sis, who I have not seen in the last 4 years, has finally decided to pay us mortals a visit. She is living in the Big Apple and has a pretty happening life… First things first, I mailed her a list of things I need (which encompasses everything I can dream of). She just had one condition :
“You have to come all the way home to meet me, even if it is for a day”
Umm… My home is 24 hrs away by train and I cant afford airfare. I was checking out the holidays and guess what, 21-23 Oct are holidays… My happiness had no bounds.
With a spring in my step, I went to the PGP Chairman for permission to go home (we need permission if we want to step out of Manipal)
Me: Excuse me Sir, I request you to permit to go home during Diwali
Him: Go on, I am listening
Me (very nervous): My long lost sis is coming from the USA… I have not seen her in 4 yrs and we do have hols from 21-23 Oct
Him: Hols? You have hols? Show me the schedule. Hols for Diwali? Since when did TAPMI declare a holiday for Diwali?
Me (showing the holiday list)
Him: Oh that… that holiday is only for the employees… the Director does not have hols, PGP Chairman does not have hols… Hostel wardens do not have hols… students do not have hols. We are all on-call 24 hrs. I understand it is an emotional decision… you want to meet your sis, but we will have classes even on Diwali.
Me: Sir, what if I do not have classes? What if I am free? Can I go then?
Him: Hmm… you will have to check the schedule once it is available… and anyway, there will always be group work if there are no classes. If you leave then, it will be dereliction of duty. See, I do understand. When I was working, I could not attend my sister’s engagement… She is still angry with me and has come to my house only once… that also for one day only. But what could I do, on one hand was the engagement.. on the other hand, there were 700 people depending on me. I chose the latter.
Me: Thank you Sir… I will check the schedule and get back to you…
It got me thinking… How professional should we be? Where do we draw the line? Work or family? Head or heart? When I was in my 11th and 12th std… I had given up everything and everyone… I stopped going out, hanging out with friends, stopped making friends… my studies came before everyone… all the distractions were discarded…. Nobody forced me to do it… It was a conscious decision. I wanted good grades and I let nothing come in the way. I met my best friend Monica just once in the 2 yrs even though we were in the same city… My parents and siblings put my need first since they didnt want to inconvenience me… I wanted to be a Doctor, just like my Dad…
When I started preparation for CAT, I wouldnt let anybody disturb me… Friends and family were again put on the back burner…
Now at TAPMI, I am wondering if all my life I will have to put relationships on the back burner… will I have to give up the heart for the head? Will my family (when I have one) end up complaining that I never give them time? There are a lot of times, when friends ask me for time and I cant be there because I have to work… Will I end up as the over-worked Manager who is too busy to be with her family? I love working… I really do… but…
I am afraid my head will rule over heart because I am scared of losing control over my life…
I am afraid I will not let go because I am scared of what I cannot see…
I am afraid history will repeat itself because I am scared to learn the lessons…
I am afraid I have lost a part of me because I have been fool hardy…
I am afraid I have lesser things to say because I am scared of what others will think of me…
I am afraid I have lost the ability to love because the heartbreak has scarred me so…
I am afraid I will not be fair to you because everyday I question what I am doing…
I am afraid… just afraid and hoping and praying you will help me drive away the fear…
– Posted on 23rd September 2006. My first experience of staying in Bangalore- good fun and getting groped- horrible, shocking.
I am back at Manipal…. my time at B’glore has been the greatest. I loved the freedom, friends, place… most of it. Here are a few things I observed:
- The weather is always always good.
- The auto walas are more clueless than the residents. If you ask them to take you to “Sukh Sagar”, you will reach “Shanti Sagar”. If you are looking for St. John’s college, they will make sure you reach Christ College.
- The residents are clueless not just about their neighbours but also buildings in the vicinity
- Women on buses are very helpful and always ready to give correct directions (to be on the safe side, I never ask men for directions)
- Window shopping is the best exercise ever (A1 and I walked down M G Road for 4 hours… we know every lane and most of the shops there)
- Meeting old friends and acquaintances is the biggest motivation ever (I met my best friend Jiny and acquaintance from school Bethany… we are good friends now….)
- Even shady eating places are unaffordable at B’glore
- And as Ritu warned me about B’glore: “beware of lecherous men who don’t stare but attack…always carry self defence is my advice to those new in bangalore…later it settles down”… very true. I have not been groped so often even in the 6 years of my stay in A’Bad.
- The fine for various traffic related offences are put up at almost all traffic signals… transparency???
- Hindi music is played on the buses…. damn cool, na?
– Posted on 27th October 2006. Lines from my favorite book ‘The Bridge Across Forever’ by Richart Bach. Nobody writes like him.
“Part of us is always an observer, and no matter what, it observes. It watches us. It does not care if we are happy or unhappy, if we are sick or well, if we live or die. Its only job is to sit there on our shoulder and pass judgement on whether we are worthwhile human beings.”
“There are no mistakes. The events we bring upon ourselves, no matter how unpleasant, are necessary in order to learn what we need to learn; whatever steps we take, they’re necessary to reach the places we’ve chosen to go.”
“You’re the cause of me-as-you-know-me. Nobody else in the world knows Richard that’s in your life. No one else knows Leslie that’s in mine”
“I thought about that day….. twenty years ago or yesterday?
What happens to time, in our minds?”
– Posted on 24th October 2006. My sis was posting my profile on matrimonial sites and this is what we came up with. Sigh… nobody replied… I wonder why.
Name: Bulbul Gopalani
Date of Birth: 11th June, 1973
Weight: 90 Kgs
Up to Std X: Bogis High School, Mt. Abu
BE (2005): Bachelor of Idiotical Engineering, Ahmedabad
MBA: Sadal College, Karnataka (First in University)
Background: Bulbul is bogi, mogi, and chari. She has grown up in a tightly-knit nuclear family of five that respects cultural and religious values. Bulbul is very religious, and performs pooja ten times a day, five of which are in a Hindu temple. She enjoys singing, dancing, painting, acting, modeling, carpentry, reading, robotics, and astronomy. She may not necessarily be good in these, though. She is full of dignity, truth, and honesty.
Sister’s Name: ABC (MBA, married and settled in New York)
Background: ABC is the epitome of intelligence and beauty, and is God’s gift to mankind. She complements Bulbul bogi in every way. ABC has truly contributed to Kalyug’s human race with the goodness of her kind heart. She has greatly uplifted the standard of living ofIndia’s poverty-stricken masses.
What we are looking for: We are seeking a boy with potential for being hen-pecked. We want someone who will dance to Bulbul’s tunes and put each paisa of his salary in her hand. Looks and good body extremely important (sinewy muscles a must), brains optional.
– Posted on 22nd October 2006. Still true..
So, it is A1’s B’day soon. A2 and I have been brain-storming on what to get her.
Me: How about shoes? She loves shoes
A1: She just bought new ones
Me: Skirts? She has a weakness for them
A1: Umm… she has loads already
Me: How about speakers for her laptop?
A1: Just ‘coz you like speakers does not mean everyone else likes them too.
Me: How can anyone not want speakers? I will ask her discretely
A1: Lets get her a belt… a huge one..
Me: Ms. Fashion Designer, we have to get a gift for her; not for you. Waise, when is her b’day?
A1: Dont know… I think 2 more weeks to go
Me: Hmm…. No problem. I will definitely receive a b’day reminder or check it on orkut… warna, uski roomie jab cake layegi, we will know. We are so smart… hehhehehhee.
Yesterday, we decided we would get her something… but what? Finally, we thought we would leave the ball in her court.
Me: Ok mam… what do you want for your b’day? Do you want shoes?
Me: A1’s wierd belt?
Me: Then what?
A2: I dont know… lemme think
But, God of Shopholics came to our rescue. A2 could not resist buying another pair of shoes…
Aah, women and shoes have such a deep bond. Have you ever been to a shop and the stuff there has made you go weak in your knees… you want to stay there forever? I feel like that (and most of the women do) when I see pretty and dainty shoes… with heels and straps…
I love window shopping…. There was a time when Honey and I went to this really posh shop called Kenzer at A’bad. It is quite expensive and the collection is damn good. I just needed to purchase a top which I had already selected… but I needed someone else’s stamp of approval (women tend to get others stamp of approval while purchasing something… ).
Honey: Look at those pretty skirts… I wish I could wear those. But I hate my legs
Me: Try them on… what if they look good? You can buy them
Honey: hmmm… ok
We went on a trial spree… tried on almost everything… It felt good… and nope, we didnt purchase anything except the pre-selected top.
Thats why women prefer shopping with women… only a woman can understand… will a man ever sit patiently and appraise every top the lady is going to try on when she has no intention of buying it? Nope… never…
– Posted on 11th October 2006. And here is the post I was looking for. On the occasion of ‘Karva Chauth’ which is tomorrow. tribute to the most sexist fast of the year. Actually, even Gujjus have a similar fast. This is an actual incident… and I still roll on the floor with laughter when I remember it.
Fasts are so-not-me and this is how I found that out:
In Gujarat, all the umarried girls (even kids) fast for their to-be-hubby for 5 days in a year. The occasion is called Gauri vrat (vrat means fast). If it is strictly done for 5 yrs at a stretch, the girl is assured a good husband. When I was in the 7th std, for the first time I was staying at home with my parents. Mommy wanted me to fast (I think she doubts my ability to find a good hubby). Obedient that I was (yeah, then I was obedient), I agreed. The fast is very strict, we are not allowed to eat grains (no pulses or rice or wheat), no vegetables also. We end up eating and drinking sweet foods like milk,fruits, dry fruits etc. Too much sweet stuff makes me want to throw up.
On the first day of the fast, mommy had to go to A’bad. She was supposed to return late at night and had prepared cold coffee that I could have after I returned from school. She had packed seera for school. Seera is usually made out of atta, which cannot be eaten. But mommy had given me sabu daane ka seera in which atta is not added. My friends in school did not know this and advised me against eating it. When I returned from school, I forgot about the cold coffee and stayed hungry all day. I was hungry and slept off by the time mommy returned home. This is what happened at night:
Me (screaming in my sleep): It is running away… wait, stop, stop running… dont run away
Mommy (waking me): Wake up, wake up… what happened? Who is running away?
Me (waking up): Oh, I was dreaming. I dreamed that the potatoes (I am potato lover) and chappattis were running away. I was chasing them… but the roti kept rolling away (I had read a comic when I was in 5th std in which there was a roti rolling away)
Mommy got a scolding from dad for making me fast. Mommy cooked potatoes veg and chappattis and fed me at night.
After this incident, I have not been asked to fast again.
Staying hungry is a very traumatic experience for me.